Day 12: What $20 Will Get You

Listening: How long can the days go on when my love is so strong. And I know I cannot tell a lie. I wanna see him go bye.

What's my problem? Shit costs too much here.

I'll tell you exactly what $20 will get you. Today, it got me a 375 pack of Q-tips, a small mint chip ice cream cone, a turkey, bacon, swiss, tomato and pickle on whole wheat sandwich, a Nantucket Nectar lemonade, and a large coffee. Twenty-freakin' dollars. It was amazing.

Today, I had the day off. It's a good thing too. I was smoldering a bit after service. Another poor performance. I feel like I'm letting people down over here. I feel like I'm just not worth the hype. Maybe it's the hype in my own mind, but I still feel like shit nonetheless. I feel like I can't do anything quite right.

I told Chef yesterday that I felt like I was disappointing him and the other cooks. He said it wasn't the case, but sometimes you can read it in someone's eyes in the moment. I've seen it a couple of times. Chef's not a shouter. Kind of like SJ wasn't a shouter. He's not passive aggressive like SJ, but I guess maybe I'm looking to be berated? That sounds so fuct. I don't really think that's true. I know I need something.

I think something that's throwing me off is the way this kitchen communicates. On hot apps, I'm the only one who doesn't have a good view of tickets. I don't know if I have anything on order or not unless I ask. Chef gets the tickets, calls them, and the dupe goes to the middle station. Everyone there is so soft-spoken that sometimes it's hard to hear the call. And I'm the only one who calls back orders.

I'm also used to better communication between the cooks. I'm used to hearing, "I'll be up in five?" Or "How long do you need on this pickup?" They don't do that here. I have to watch and guess when I should fire something. I'm looked at like I have an eighth nipple when I ask, "Can I drop scallops into the pan?" This makes me the last person to be up on a pickup. Sometimes I misjudge and I'm light years ahead on a pickup. It's just so messed up. Well, it's not messed up. It's just not how I'm used to operating, and I'm having a really hard time adjusting to it.

Anyways, Chef said he wasn't worried about my progress so far. He mentioned maybe not putting me on as many grill shifts as he thought, but then again flipped back to being like, "Oh yeah, we'll have you working grill..." I was kind of confused and am kind of going with the whole "Whatever you feel is best, Chef" attitude.

After work last night I wallowed for a good twenty minutes before I realized that I could catch most of the last half of the Celtics game down at Captain Toby's. I was there the other night to see the Lakers finish off the Spurs. That night, I wanted to go out to see the game and everyone else wanted to stay in. So, I went by myself. I sat there with my one beer for the entire second half of the Lakers game. The bartender, a tall, pretty gorgeous, olive skinned woman who could probably break me in two on so many different levels, and I talked a bit. She asked me if I was a Lakers or a Spurs fan. I told her I wasn't a fan of either, but that I just wanted to see the Lakers vs. Celtics final for the first time since the 80's. She agreed.

So when I showed up yesterday to see the Celtics, she was psyched. Pies, the guy who will be sous in a month, came with me. He had shots of Jack. I wanted to feel like I was back home, so I drank a few PBR tallboys. It probably would have been better if Marsoir or John-boy were with me, but I'll take what I can get. I was cheering like a madman for the end of the third quarter through the end of the game. On one of the other big screen TVs, the Red Sox were in the 10th inning against the Orioles. I was psyched with the Celts won, but I was sure that the Red Sox would lose. The bartender said that she had faith and knew that they would win. By the end of the 11th inning, Pies decided to go home, satisfied int he fact that the Celts won. I felt the need to stick around and watch the Sox though. I made friends with a guy named Mike, who bartends at Straight Wharf, along with a few of his friends, Tom, Caroline and Nicole. And when the Sox, won, I bought the bartender, who I now know as Denise, a shot. It was a rather festive night.

As I was about to go home, Mike dragged me to Schooner. I had a beer there with a hundred people I didn't know. To be honest, after four tallboys and a Sankaty Light, I was kind of tipsy when Sam called. She talked to me as I went to Tacos Tacos to get a bite, to the pizza place down the street and then home.

Sam is really great. She's wikkid supportive, and seems to listen to my shit a lot, even when it's drunk rambling. Out here, she seems to enable me to keep my head above water, when I'm drowning in my insecurities, tripping over my own feet, and my missing my friends and comforts of home. Late night conversations with her have been a savior.

Anyhow, I'm pretty sure that once the NBA finals start, I'll be darting out of the kitchen after scrubbing down to get to Captain Toby's to catch however much of the game I can catch. I think Denise and I will be friends, and I'm hoping to catch Mike there again too.

Well, as I said earlier, today was my day off. I checked the weather yesterday and it said that it was supposed to rain all day. I checked the weather this morning when I woke up and it said it was supposed to rain from two until ten. I checked the weather AGAIN at two and it said it was supposed to rain from six until ten. Now it's not supposed to rain at nine at night.

It was a gray and windy day today. Had it been sunny, I would have hopped on my bike and I would have cruised to another part of the island. But, since there was a threat of rain for the better part of the day, I opted to stick close to shelter. I had the most perverse path today. It went from the bank, to the pharmacy, to the grocery store, to the sandwich shop where I didn't buy anything, to the ice cream shop, back across and out of town to this sandwich shop called "Something Natural," which is actually pretty good, back home, back into town to the library, to a coffee shop and then back here. I spent a considerable amount of time at the library reading "Travel + Leisure" magazine. At the coffee shop, I watched some odd high school kids being annoying and reading my book, The Best American Travel Writing 2006.

It felt good reading a bit after spending so much time catching up on the season finales of "Grey's Anatomy," "Lost," and "Smallville." I think I need to make more of a habit of reading. I have a stack of books that Linh will send me once I finish the three books that I have with me.

I think that after service, the guys are planning on going out drinking. I'm not sure if I'm going or not. I don't really feel like it. We'll see what happens though. They should start the scrub down in about a half hour or so. Until then, maybe I'll read some more.

But I'm going to go for now. I'll leave you with some more pictures.


A scallop dish that I didn't fuck up.



A view down the line. Pies & Seany sous-sous.


A gray day in Nantucket


The same gray day in Nantucket

Day 9: Ups & Downs

Listening: "Saltwater (Thrillseekers Remix)" - Chicane

What's my problem? I don't know where ANYTHING is.

I guess I've been down a bit lately with missing my friends and all. It's been nice outside while I've been prepping and I have been staring out the kitchen window watching the trees blow over the top of the walk-in fridge. Once service has started though, it has gotten cold and a bit drizzley. That was the past few days.

Also these past few days I haven't left the restaurant compound, really. I've been getting up reasonably early though. I've been waking up at around ten or ten thirty, showering, checking e-mail, and watching some TV on my computer all before heading down to the kitchen.

I've been the first one in besides chef every day. I go in to sharpen my knife every day. It's not really a necessity to sharpen one's knife every day, but it's a really good habit to get into. Sometimes, if you don't sharpen your knife for a while, it's harder to bring the edge back to it. It takes you longer to sharpen your knife. For me, it now only takes me five minutes to get a fantastic mirrored edge on my blade. It's sexy, if I do say so myself. It's all part of my effort to rid myself of bad kitchen habits.

Last night I had a rough night. I was rocking the hot apps station. There was a big VIP party in last night. I don't want to name drop (John Kerry), but there was an important party in the house and there was also a photo shoot of some of the food happening as well. If you're interested, I think it will be in the next Boston Common magazine or the one after that. It'll be sometime this summer though.

Anyhow I was cooking a few apps, one of which was a scallop app and I totally fucked up the protein. I burn the scallop. It pissed me off. I could see the disappointment in Chef's face. He was annoyed. It sucked. I know how to cook scallops. I've done it before. Luckily it was later in the night, and it didn't affect the bulk of service for me. But for the last forty five minutes of service, I kept thinking to myself, "You fucking shoemaker. You came down here to be a monster. You're not doing a very good job at being a monster. You've only been here a week. People don't know that you can cook. And now you're showing people that you CAN'T cook? You're a fucking shoemaker." For the rest of the night until after we finished the scrub down, I didn't say a word. The guys could see it, could tell that I was just pissed. Luckily, they were all really supportive. They told me that I haven't even been here a week, and that these things happen. They told me to leave it in the kitchen. They also thought it was good that I was kind of pissed about it. It meant that I cared about the food. One guy said that he can see that I'm a good cook, and that I'm just in a stressful situation with two pairs of eyes watching me all of the time and I'm in a completely new restaurant with new people in a new place, where I don't have the comforts of my home.

Another kind of low point happened to me yesterday. Since I hadn't been out in a couple of days, even though it was raining, I went out for a walk. I put on my iPod, grabbed my umbrella and went out walking. I oped out of bringing a map, figuring that it couldn't be that hard to find a fifteen or twenty minute loop. How wrong I was. I'm not out of the restaurant for ten minutes and I have no clue where I'm going. I thought my sense of direction was taking me where I wanted to go, but nope. I was bona fide lost. I kept looking at my cellphone to check the time, and it was getting close to the time I wanted to be in the kitchen. Still, I had no clue where I was. I was seconds from calling Chef, as his cell is the only number that I have, when I saw Main Street. I actually started walking down Main the wrong way until I thought about it and felt like I was taking it the wrong way. So I turned around, and sure enough, I found my way back into town, and then back to the restaurant.

So those were a couple of my downs as of late. I totally haven't found my groove here yet, but then again, I've only worked six days and I've only been on the island for nine. Can you expect to find a groove in six days of work or nine days of island living where you don't even really have the time to explore for six out of the nine days? I'm hoping that once i find my groove in the kitchen, I'll find my groove on the island. I know there are some things that just won't happen. I know that I chose the wrong pillow to bring with me down here. I know that my personal space really isn't as nice as my windowless room in Cambridge. But, I know that once the season gets kicking and once I find my groove I'll be fine for the next six months. I've always maintained that you can do anything for a year. Hell, I COULD have worked at the Dizzle for a full year. Would I have really enjoyed being a day prepper for a year, not really, but I could have done it. Can I deal with the conditions of this living space for six months? Absolutely.

Anyhow, onto bigger and better things. Last night, after I had settled down from steaming, the lot of us went to this place called The Chicken Box. It's a totally townie bar with live music. It was kind of a shack. There was a band called Entrain playing. They kind of sucked. I think that the one good thing about the band was that they had a horn section or more like a trombonist and a saxophonist. The place had a random mix of people, all of whom danced poorly, with the exception of this one girl I saw. There were a couple of attractive girls, and I wasn't the only Asian dude in the joint. It's funny how I've been noticing that a lot lately... when I'm not the only brother up in the piece. Another good thing about The Chicken Box is that they have Newcastle Brown Ale. Yep. It's a selling point for me. They guys were looking at me like I had two heads for drinking it, said it was all fancy and stuff. Hey. I like my beer.

Today is my day off. It's the last day that the restaurant is closed before the season begins. After getting back home around three, I crashed out and didn't wake up this morning until around noon. I spent some time tidying my room and putting stuff away and headed out. My iPod was strapped on and played music in tune with the weather today. It was bright and sunny. I was loving it. I headed to the two banks in town to see about a checking account. Unfortunately, I have a choice between Bank of America and Nantucket back, which is an affiliate of Sovereign Bank. I have to say that it's a tough choice. I don't really want to go to Bank of America but I know it's more mutable than the Nantucket Bank.

With that business taken care of, I grabbed a coffee and some coffee cake and headed off walking. This time I had a map. I walked from town to the Brant Point Lighthouse, then down this long road of really fantastic homes on the water to Jetties Beach. I climbed about halfway down the jetty and talked on the phone to Sam for a good half hour. From there, I walked down the beach to Cliff Beach where there are all of these private stairways that go up the cliffs to homes. I walked along the beach until I couldn't go anymore. Since I couldn't find a way back up without going through some of the private residences, I had to walk halfway back down the beach to find a way back up to the street. From there, I meandered my way back to the restaurant, and here I am. It's been a great day. I want all of my days off to be like that. I think that on my next nice day off, I'll take my bike out to see where I can go.

Tonight I'm going with the guys to Le Languedoc for dinner, and hopefully we'll finish in time to go see Indiana Jones at the one movie theater in town. I sure hope we make it because this will be the only time I get a chance to see it before they switch movies. That's right. They only play one movie per week. Pies, one of the line cooks, who will take over the sous chef position once Sean leaves told me that he doesn't think it's gonna happen. Anyhow, I'm going to leave you all with the current menu and some pics of the island. I hope you all enjoy.

Apps:

Carrot and ginger bisque with pea and peeky toe crab salad & cumin creme fraiche $11
Crispy poached egg, smoked salmon and asparagus salad with baby beets & "little pearl" trout roe in a horseradish vinaigrette $14.50
Maine day boat scallops with beef cheek hash, fava bean veloute and blood orange $16.50
Duck confit and foie gras terrine with potted foie gras and apricot marmalade $17.50
"Chicken fried" chicken livers with a smoked tomato and bacon dressing, grapefruit, avocado and petite mustard greens $13.50
Salad of Bartlett's farm petite mixed greens, buttermilk blue cheese, candied pecans, & dates in a sherry vinaigrette $13.50
House made tete de porc with an artichoke and endive salad in a mustard dressing $14.50

Entrees:

Spice rubbed long island duck breast, baby bok choy, Nantucket grown shitake mushroom & foie gras dumpling in an orange miso broth $30
Oven roasted leg of Colorado lamb, potato galette, tomato & nicoise olive compote, fennel puree, & a pistachio crusted goat cheese fritter $34
Spring vegetable tasting: cassoulet, tart & terrine $26
Grilled Wolfe's neck farm flat iron steak with Bartlett's farm parmesan baby spinach olive oil potato puree & roasted bone marrow $37.50
"American Seasons' Fish & Chips" potato wrapped rare yellow fin tuna with crushed english peas tartare sauce vinaigrette & lemon confit $35.50
Chili glazed organic salmonwith fried green tomatoes in a smokey crayfish butter $29.50
Ozark mountain pork loin & belly with cheddar brioche bread pudding, roasted spring onions & a peach relish $32.50





The Inn that Sam & I stayed at.


The outside of my restaurant.


The sign.


Sam with a vintage Saab.


The Brant Lighthouse.


A gorgeous Nantucket home.


A view from the jetty.


Me on the jetty.

Day 6: Where Does The Time Go?

Listening: And now there's no time. It's not such a crime.

What's my problem? There's no time for anything else.

It's the morning of day six, and it seems ever so evident that the amount of time that I'll have off is significantly less than I thought it would be. Right no the restaurant is open six days a week, and we work every day it's open. We're one man up right now, which is me, but even if I am the tournade, I don't think anyone is getting two days off on a consistent basis. The sous is leaving due to visa problems too, so we're still a man down.

This coming Wednesday is the last Wednesday the restaurant is going to be closed. After that we're open seven days a week. I have a feeling that it's going to be a bit of a bumpy ride.

Lately, I have been waking up before I have to be at work. When I worked at Chez, even when I had to be in at two in the afternoon, I would get up at one, shower, and head right over. No coffee. No leisureliness. Get up, shower, go to work, work, drink, go home, go to sleep. Here, most people get in around noon. So I've been waking up at around ten or ten thirty. I'll either go get a coffee or go to the grocery store, come back and change, then go in a half hour early to sharpen my knife. I'm trying to get into the habit of sharpening it every day. I feel that if I do, not only will I keep a great edge on it, but I'll get really good at keeping an edge on it.

So, we prep from around noon until a quarter to five when staff meal goes up. Luckily, that responsibility falls on the group, as opposed to on the individual. I've had my hand in all of the staff meals thus far, just because I was the extra man. After staff meal goes up, we have a half hour break time from five until five thirty. I've been using the time to catch up on e-mail and TV. But once five thirty comes along, we make sure our station is set and so on and so forth.

These first few days, I have been trailing on the hot apps station. It's not too difficult of a station cooking wise. Some of the plating can get kind of intricate, but overall I don't see anything as being overly difficult. Some of the dishes , it's hard to move fast on, filling molds with salads and so on and so forth, but it's all very doable.

Chef doesn't like prepping during service. So, once that five thirty mark comes around, from what I'm told, you should be prepped up for the night. No surprises, no running to do stuff on the fly unless we're doing a bazillion covers and it's all coming off of your station.

The last menus of the night are down at ten, which means that we're not done feeding people and cleaning until around eleven. After that, it seems to be the ritual that we all stand around out back drinking beers. I wonder when I'll get tired of that. But that goes on until anywhere from one in the morning until three. After that it's off to sleep.

That's how my twenty four hour days have been going lately. I'm gonna be owning the hot apps station tomorrow and then next week, I'll be trailing on the grill station. It should be interesting.

On the more personal level, all of the guys I work with are pretty nice. We're kind of a rapscallion group of people, though we don't have anyone angry or overly violent. Everyone here smokes pot like it's going out of style. Me, not so much. They don't make a big thing of it though. I'm on the bottom bunk of a three bed room. Conditions are shitty, but I figure I can live with it through December.

I realize that when I was in Boston, I didn't have much time to hang out with friends or that kind of stuff, but I could structure my time so that every once in a while I could have dinner with Linh or hang with Sam or meet Jess and Carlos or CTodd and Manni for dinner. It's rough not being able to do that. Though I like everyone here, I have failed to make a connection with anyone. I realize that it has only been a week. I'm still feeling my way into this. If by halfway through the summer, I haven't found anyone to be on my wavelength, it'll be a long six months.

Anyhow, it's half past eleven now. It's time for me to go sharpen my knife. Everyone else here is still asleep. Last night we did two hundred dinners. Tonight should be at least a hundred and fifty. And this place is about the size of Chez, maybe a little smaller. And in the immortal words of Faithless and my sig for my e-mails, "Letting you know I miss you more than four hits the floor at a party. Send my love to everybody."

Day 4: Deer in Headlights

Listening: Tied up and twisted the way I'd like to be, for you, for me.

What's my problem? Not enough time.

Sorry I haven't posted. I've been on the job for two days. Sam is gone which makes me sad. I'm involved in some great food, which makes me happy. Figawi is this weekend, so there will be popped collar bitches swarming like a million wasps I want to punch in the face. I'll try to post tonight after service. Maybe I'll throw in some pics. Til then... Cheers.

Day 1: Check Out, Check In

Listening: Said hes going back to find,he's going back to find, a simpler place and time.

What's my problem? The girl next to me is asleep.

Two nights ago, I drank too much and stayed out too late. I swear, I didn't mean to. It just happened that way. I had dinner with Jon at Central Kitchen, went to visit Dylan at Green Street, had a few beers there, and then got texted by John from Chez and met him and Marcoise at Noir for last call. That's not what I was supposed to do. I had a big bag to pack. I had odds and ends to take care of. But, yeah, I did it anyways.

It's nice to know, though, that I have forged such bonds with some of the people that I have worked with that they want to hang with me before I leave. A number of them said that they were excited for me. One of them said that he wished that we had time to sharpen our knives together one last time before I left. But time was short, goodbyes had to be said, and now, I'm on an island.

I wish I could say that I was really disorganized, but I wasn't. It was just fitting everything into that last bag and making sure I had everything. I feel like I brought a lot. I thought for sure it would fill up Sam's little Saab, but it really wasn't very full. I had one giant duffle bag, one big duffle bag, my knives, my backpack, my man-purse, and a tote full of shoes and toiletries. Oh yes, and I brought my bike.

Sam picked me up around eleven, and we were on the road at noon. We got down to the docks an hour before the boat was to shove off, but we really didn't have time to kick it around Hyannis. It felt like it was taking forever for the cars and trucks to load onto the boat. Bicycles are the last ones to load. By the time I parked my bike and headed up to the deck, Sam had already gotten situated. To be honest, I was pretty damn tired. I had gotten home at half past two the night before, woke up around seven in the morning, and had been stressing a bit not only for the better part of the morning, but for the few days before, so, just like I am with most forms of mass transportation, I fell asleep for a chunk of the ride.

When Sam and I pulled out of Cambridge, it was bright and sunny. Sam had to send off some stuff at the UPS store, so I sunned myself while sitting on the rear bumper of the car. I have to say, that it was a beautiful fifteen minutes. By the time the boat was a half hour into the trip, it got rainy and stayed rainy. When we pulled into the Nantucket docks, it was an absolute downpour. I'm lucky that my new Chrome backpack had the PVC liner or else my computer would have been in some trouble. Well, guess I had my neoprene sleeve, but still I would have been a bit dismayed.

Chef picked Sam and I up at the docks and brought us to American Seasons, where I got my first look at my new living situation. I have to say that the eye candy around my apartment isn't nearly as good. I live with three other pretty tall guys in an four room apartment above the restaurant. It's tight quarters, but I guess it will do. I share my room with one other guy for the time being. There are three beds in the room, a bunk and a single, so there very well may be another joining us. The guy I'm rooming with, Joe, chose the single, so I chose the bottom of the bunks. I'm just not a fan of having to climb precariously into bed after a few rounds of beer. As far as storage goes, I get a closet and a set of drawers. Hopefully I'll have enough space for all of my clothing. I know I'll have plenty of space to hang stuff, but who knows if I'll be able to fit everything else into the drawers.

After I gathered a few things, Sam and I headed across the street to the Centre Board Guest House, where we are staying until tomorrow. It's a nice little B&B that I'm paying for half in trade. I'll be cooking the owner's family dinner on two different nights as soon as I get settled into my new life.

For dinner, we headed back across the street to American Seasons, so that I could check out the type of food that I would be doing. The dining room, in daylight, looks really very rustic, but once the sun goes down, as I saw it go down over the gray shingled Nantucket houses, and the only light you have is from the glow of tall thin candles in the hurricane lamps on your table, the place feels much more romantic.

Going in, I planned on ordering an app and an entree, but Chef just wanted to send stuff out to Sam and I. Course after course came. A caviar tasting with three different caviars, a white asparagus soup, a day boat scallop, a meat loaf on brioche with onion marmalade and cured foie, bone marrow with beef cheek hash, duck breast, two desserts. It all just kept coming... with wines. Champagne, two whites, two reds.... It was truly a fantastic meal. It was a very large meal too.

At the end of the meal, Chef came out to talk with Sam and me, and Sam sent beers back to the kitchen. She's so thoughtful. The two things that sold me the most on the meal were the meat loaf and the bone marrow. They were both just so tasty. I still drool thinking about them. I figure that's a pretty good thing if you're going to be working at a place that's producing food like that.

Sam and I were the third table or so to sit that night. We were the last to leave. We had an amazing conversation with this great older couple from Boston's north shore. They had eaten at a bunch of the places that I liked in Boston. They hadn't been to Chez or Rendezvous before though. We rolled out of there with a $22 check, and dropped $80. The only things that were charged to us were the beers we sent back to the kitchen.

The rest of the night was chill. Sam and I were both tired. We watched TV and went to sleep in our little B&B. It was a good evening.

Day -1: CHILL! YOU MUST CHILL!

Listening: Your eyes are blinding my urban ways. I need to know your sunshine rays. I don't know why.

What's my problem? My own mind.

Whew. So I go to Nantucket tomorrow. It's been a long time coming and I dunno if I'm prepared or not. I have my last load of laundry in the dryer, 97% of my crap packed, a job waiting for me.... My knives are sharp. I password protected my computer... All I have left to do, really, is get my wheel axel switched out on my bike, pick-up/drop off some stuff at my brother's place, and pack my last bag. Why am I still so nervous?

I've had a lot of people backing me over the past four years, since I started cooking for a living. It started with people like Jess and Carlos, and ended with people like Tom Berry, who I haven't even cooked with before. In between, I've had the support of all of my friends, chefs and colleagues. As much as I thank everyone for this, it really is a blessing and a curse.

As that timeless band, The Gin Blossoms, once said, "If you don't expect too much from me, you might not be let down." Most of the time I try not to have too many people expect too much from me, because I would rather surprise them than let them down. I fear that on Nantucket, I may have blown the element of surprise. The referring chef and the one that confirmed my references gave me glowing reviews so they say. I'm guessing that this means slightly more than, "He's a hard worker who puts up good food." So, when I start my job, I don't know how big of a rockstar they're expecting. I'll try my best to be the rockstar, but I'm really going there to BECOME the rockstar, BECOME the monster that I want to be.

Another reason I'm a bit nervous is that I have a great network in Boston, both personally and professionally. I have no doubt that if things go sour in Nantucket, I can always come back here to people who will know where to find work for me. In Nantucket, I don't know a soul. Not a single person. I know I'm a reasonably social person, but I'll be starting from ground zero. I felt like this when I went to college, and I know I made some pretty good friends right out of the gate, but you never know.

Probably the thing that scares me the most is the fact that I'm leaving the concrete jungle. I wear the city like it's a mantle. I love Boston. I love being able to take the T where ever I want to go. I love my little hideouts and coffee shops. I love the independent thought, style and cultures of the multitudes of people in the city. It has been joked about that I'll be the one Asian guy on the island. I was worried about that for a second, but then I saw this and realize that there would be at least one other person with slanty eyes on this island. Although I'm very against alcoving and self-ghetto-izing, I by no means want to be the token Asian on the island.

There are things that I am looking forward to as well, even starting with day one. First of all, Sam is driving me down to Hyannis, and is coming to spend a couple of days with me before I start working. She's a total country girl who has lived island life, walks around barefoot as much as possible, and appreciates the beach and being out of the city. She has been a great resource for me and if my urban withdrawl comes in the first two days, I'm sure she'll be there with the cold compress and ice chips should I break out into the sweats and start rocking back and forth with my knees to my chest. If that doesn't happen, we're gonna have a great time exploring Nantucket. I look forward to her excitement and glee whenever she sees something as random as a horseshoe crab.

I'm also looking forward to creating balance in my life again. For the past few months, I have been pushing hard. I've been working my ass off to the point that my ass is gone and all you see is the back of my abdominal cavity. Yep. Even the back of the hips are gone. I'm looking forward to having my one or two days off a week to go to the beach to read, or to try out something new. It'll be a new thing for me, this whole relaxing thing. There might be some sunshine, or perhaps some surfing (as you saw from the link above). To borrow the title of a series of mixes, I'm going to get "Back To Mine."

Finally, I'm looking forward to doing some new networking. I'm looking to expand my professional network of people so that it'll make it even easier to travel and cook. Hopefully I'll meet cooks not only from other parts of the country, but from other continents. Hopefully I'll get along with them and will forge some serious bonds to the point where they'll help me get jobs around the world. I realize that this may be a pipe dream, but it's my pipe dream. I'm not really expecting this to happen, but I sure am hoping for it.

Also hopefully by the end of the summer, I'll be able to save a good ten thousand dollars. That's my goal. I want to save ten thousand dollars so that I can put five away and use the other five to travel. As some of you already know, Southeast Asia is top on my list. It's cheap once you get there. There are cheap cooking schools. I'll learn to use ingredients that I have never used before. The culture is completely alien to me, and I have some friends somewhere around there.

Anyhow, that's all for now. I have to take care of some stuff before I really lose track of time.