Angry Urban Dweller: Day 9: Ups & Downs

Listening: "Saltwater (Thrillseekers Remix)" - Chicane

What's my problem? I don't know where ANYTHING is.

I guess I've been down a bit lately with missing my friends and all. It's been nice outside while I've been prepping and I have been staring out the kitchen window watching the trees blow over the top of the walk-in fridge. Once service has started though, it has gotten cold and a bit drizzley. That was the past few days.

Also these past few days I haven't left the restaurant compound, really. I've been getting up reasonably early though. I've been waking up at around ten or ten thirty, showering, checking e-mail, and watching some TV on my computer all before heading down to the kitchen.

I've been the first one in besides chef every day. I go in to sharpen my knife every day. It's not really a necessity to sharpen one's knife every day, but it's a really good habit to get into. Sometimes, if you don't sharpen your knife for a while, it's harder to bring the edge back to it. It takes you longer to sharpen your knife. For me, it now only takes me five minutes to get a fantastic mirrored edge on my blade. It's sexy, if I do say so myself. It's all part of my effort to rid myself of bad kitchen habits.

Last night I had a rough night. I was rocking the hot apps station. There was a big VIP party in last night. I don't want to name drop (John Kerry), but there was an important party in the house and there was also a photo shoot of some of the food happening as well. If you're interested, I think it will be in the next Boston Common magazine or the one after that. It'll be sometime this summer though.

Anyhow I was cooking a few apps, one of which was a scallop app and I totally fucked up the protein. I burn the scallop. It pissed me off. I could see the disappointment in Chef's face. He was annoyed. It sucked. I know how to cook scallops. I've done it before. Luckily it was later in the night, and it didn't affect the bulk of service for me. But for the last forty five minutes of service, I kept thinking to myself, "You fucking shoemaker. You came down here to be a monster. You're not doing a very good job at being a monster. You've only been here a week. People don't know that you can cook. And now you're showing people that you CAN'T cook? You're a fucking shoemaker." For the rest of the night until after we finished the scrub down, I didn't say a word. The guys could see it, could tell that I was just pissed. Luckily, they were all really supportive. They told me that I haven't even been here a week, and that these things happen. They told me to leave it in the kitchen. They also thought it was good that I was kind of pissed about it. It meant that I cared about the food. One guy said that he can see that I'm a good cook, and that I'm just in a stressful situation with two pairs of eyes watching me all of the time and I'm in a completely new restaurant with new people in a new place, where I don't have the comforts of my home.

Another kind of low point happened to me yesterday. Since I hadn't been out in a couple of days, even though it was raining, I went out for a walk. I put on my iPod, grabbed my umbrella and went out walking. I oped out of bringing a map, figuring that it couldn't be that hard to find a fifteen or twenty minute loop. How wrong I was. I'm not out of the restaurant for ten minutes and I have no clue where I'm going. I thought my sense of direction was taking me where I wanted to go, but nope. I was bona fide lost. I kept looking at my cellphone to check the time, and it was getting close to the time I wanted to be in the kitchen. Still, I had no clue where I was. I was seconds from calling Chef, as his cell is the only number that I have, when I saw Main Street. I actually started walking down Main the wrong way until I thought about it and felt like I was taking it the wrong way. So I turned around, and sure enough, I found my way back into town, and then back to the restaurant.

So those were a couple of my downs as of late. I totally haven't found my groove here yet, but then again, I've only worked six days and I've only been on the island for nine. Can you expect to find a groove in six days of work or nine days of island living where you don't even really have the time to explore for six out of the nine days? I'm hoping that once i find my groove in the kitchen, I'll find my groove on the island. I know there are some things that just won't happen. I know that I chose the wrong pillow to bring with me down here. I know that my personal space really isn't as nice as my windowless room in Cambridge. But, I know that once the season gets kicking and once I find my groove I'll be fine for the next six months. I've always maintained that you can do anything for a year. Hell, I COULD have worked at the Dizzle for a full year. Would I have really enjoyed being a day prepper for a year, not really, but I could have done it. Can I deal with the conditions of this living space for six months? Absolutely.

Anyhow, onto bigger and better things. Last night, after I had settled down from steaming, the lot of us went to this place called The Chicken Box. It's a totally townie bar with live music. It was kind of a shack. There was a band called Entrain playing. They kind of sucked. I think that the one good thing about the band was that they had a horn section or more like a trombonist and a saxophonist. The place had a random mix of people, all of whom danced poorly, with the exception of this one girl I saw. There were a couple of attractive girls, and I wasn't the only Asian dude in the joint. It's funny how I've been noticing that a lot lately... when I'm not the only brother up in the piece. Another good thing about The Chicken Box is that they have Newcastle Brown Ale. Yep. It's a selling point for me. They guys were looking at me like I had two heads for drinking it, said it was all fancy and stuff. Hey. I like my beer.

Today is my day off. It's the last day that the restaurant is closed before the season begins. After getting back home around three, I crashed out and didn't wake up this morning until around noon. I spent some time tidying my room and putting stuff away and headed out. My iPod was strapped on and played music in tune with the weather today. It was bright and sunny. I was loving it. I headed to the two banks in town to see about a checking account. Unfortunately, I have a choice between Bank of America and Nantucket back, which is an affiliate of Sovereign Bank. I have to say that it's a tough choice. I don't really want to go to Bank of America but I know it's more mutable than the Nantucket Bank.

With that business taken care of, I grabbed a coffee and some coffee cake and headed off walking. This time I had a map. I walked from town to the Brant Point Lighthouse, then down this long road of really fantastic homes on the water to Jetties Beach. I climbed about halfway down the jetty and talked on the phone to Sam for a good half hour. From there, I walked down the beach to Cliff Beach where there are all of these private stairways that go up the cliffs to homes. I walked along the beach until I couldn't go anymore. Since I couldn't find a way back up without going through some of the private residences, I had to walk halfway back down the beach to find a way back up to the street. From there, I meandered my way back to the restaurant, and here I am. It's been a great day. I want all of my days off to be like that. I think that on my next nice day off, I'll take my bike out to see where I can go.

Tonight I'm going with the guys to Le Languedoc for dinner, and hopefully we'll finish in time to go see Indiana Jones at the one movie theater in town. I sure hope we make it because this will be the only time I get a chance to see it before they switch movies. That's right. They only play one movie per week. Pies, one of the line cooks, who will take over the sous chef position once Sean leaves told me that he doesn't think it's gonna happen. Anyhow, I'm going to leave you all with the current menu and some pics of the island. I hope you all enjoy.

Apps:

Carrot and ginger bisque with pea and peeky toe crab salad & cumin creme fraiche $11
Crispy poached egg, smoked salmon and asparagus salad with baby beets & "little pearl" trout roe in a horseradish vinaigrette $14.50
Maine day boat scallops with beef cheek hash, fava bean veloute and blood orange $16.50
Duck confit and foie gras terrine with potted foie gras and apricot marmalade $17.50
"Chicken fried" chicken livers with a smoked tomato and bacon dressing, grapefruit, avocado and petite mustard greens $13.50
Salad of Bartlett's farm petite mixed greens, buttermilk blue cheese, candied pecans, & dates in a sherry vinaigrette $13.50
House made tete de porc with an artichoke and endive salad in a mustard dressing $14.50

Entrees:

Spice rubbed long island duck breast, baby bok choy, Nantucket grown shitake mushroom & foie gras dumpling in an orange miso broth $30
Oven roasted leg of Colorado lamb, potato galette, tomato & nicoise olive compote, fennel puree, & a pistachio crusted goat cheese fritter $34
Spring vegetable tasting: cassoulet, tart & terrine $26
Grilled Wolfe's neck farm flat iron steak with Bartlett's farm parmesan baby spinach olive oil potato puree & roasted bone marrow $37.50
"American Seasons' Fish & Chips" potato wrapped rare yellow fin tuna with crushed english peas tartare sauce vinaigrette & lemon confit $35.50
Chili glazed organic salmonwith fried green tomatoes in a smokey crayfish butter $29.50
Ozark mountain pork loin & belly with cheddar brioche bread pudding, roasted spring onions & a peach relish $32.50