Day 34: I am the Mayor

Listening: Control yourself. Take only what you need from it.

What's my problem? Lao Airlines is closed for lunch.

It's true. I really am the mayor. Coming up to Luang Prabang from Vang Vieng, I thought that I wouldn't know a single soul back in town. Sure enough, when I drop Sandy, Pauline and Amy off at SpicyLaos, I see someone I know. It's Eris, the British guy who was with me for the entire length of my trek in Chiang Mai. He, met my friend Mikey from Canada, who went with Jennifer and I to the Khum Khan Toke, on the bus from Houay Xai to Luang Prabang. Apparently, Eris said to Mikey, "I met this guy in Chiang Mai who just loves his job!" And Mikey asked him, "Well, what does he do?" And Eris told him that I was a chef, and Mikey instantly said, "Hey, I know that guy! It's gotta be Jason!" And from there they proceeded to have a conversation about me.

Then later that night while walking around the night market, I ran into Jennifer and Kate, two British girls that I met at the Chiang Khong/Houay Xai border crossing. They went on the fast boat, and claimed that I way overhyped the dangers of the fast boat. To be perfectly fair, I told them that I had never been on the fast boat or the slow boat myself, but only what I had heard. So, they introduced me to a number of people that they were rolling with in Luang Prabang, and made a plan to meet for drinks at the Hive bar later that night.

At Hive Bar, I met up with Mikey, Sandy, Pauline and Amy, along with another crew of people that they were with. I made friends with a bunch of Israelis, and we all merged with Jennifer and Kate's crew. Fun was had by all, and when the bar closed at half past eleven, we all piled into a tuk-tuk and headed for the bowling alley.

Now, there were a good sixteen people in the tuk-tuk. People were hanging off the back and were sitting on the roof. One guy, Garrett, was hanging off of the side, near the driver and somehow let go. We were going full speed (like 30kph) and he bounced his ass first off the pavement, and then his head. Luckily the injury wasn't so bad. There was a little bit of blood and a few scrapes, but other than that, he was okay. He could have easily had a concussion, but he seemed fine enough after we got to the bowling alley.

At the bowling alley, I met some more people, Blaine and Kate from the States, and Luke and Alicia from Australia. It's funny how the bowling alley becomes such a social center when there is a midnight curfew and everything except the discotheque and the bowling alley are closed.

On the way home from the bowling alley (we walked because the tuk-tuk driver wouldn't except three thousand kip per person) we ran into some people who had just arrived from the border. One of my friends, Marion from Canada, offered her one of the extra beds in her guesthouse rooms, so this girl Bina from London took it.

The next morning, Sandy, Pauline, Amy, Marion, Bina and I, along with another tuk-tuk full of people headed to the waterfall. Bina and I ended up hiking to the top of the waterfall before heading to the swimming holes below. The heat in Luang Prabang is oppressive. At the height of the day, you're not only sweating your ass off, but youre' sweating your tits and your face off too. So, the ice cold water of the swimming holes was a welcome feeling. What was not really welcome were the fat French guys "diving" off of the rocks into the water. When I say "dive," what I really mean is start off looking like they're going to dive, but ending up doing the belly flop. If they did it in the ocean, there would have been a tsunami.

After the waterfall, we all went our own separate ways. While on the way to meet back up with everyone for dinner, I ran into Blaine and Kate. I chatted with them for a while, and while I was doing so, Goi and Lucky walked up. I knew that they were getting in that day, but I didn't know how we would find each other. So I chatted with them as well before I met the crew for dinner.

After dinner, we all went shopping around the night market. I ended up hangng out with this girl Kate (I seem to meet a lot of Kates and Jennifers) from the Hague, and bought a pair of pants and a tee shirt for twenty thousand kip (two dollars an fifty cents) each.

On my way back to my room, I run into Goi and Lucky again in a wine bar, so I go in and have a few glasses of wine with them and shit shoot before meeting the crew at the Hive Bar again. When I get to the Hive Bar, EVERYONE is there again, except for two of the Kates, Jennifer and Blaine. The British Kate and Jennifer flew out that day, and I'm not sure what the other Kate and Blaine ended up doing.

It was a good party at the Hive Bar that night. We knew the DJ that night, and everyone was in a dancing mood. Earlier that night, I said to Sandy, Pauline and Marion that I wasn't really up for a hyped night, that I would probably be okay just closing down the Hive Bar and going to sleep. Well, Pauline and Kate from the Hague went home, but I ended up... going to the bowling alley with Sandy and Marion and a huge crew of people.

I didn't actually bowl this time, though. I ended up talking to this guy, Ryan, who is a rock climbing instructor and who loves his job like I love mine, and this girl Chloe. Okay, this girl Chloe makes me drool. She knew me before I even knew her name. She knew me as Jason, the chef from Boston. As she said it, looking straight into my eyes, she could have probably asked me for all of my money and everything I owned and I would have handed it over. She has the most amazing green eyes. Anyhow, we had a whole conversation about loving what we do and how important it is to love what you do in life.

Actually that has been a conversation that I have had a number of times on this trip. Even last night, Lucky was saying not to do anything to get rich, but to do things because you love it. If you love your work, money will come for a job well done.

But... back to Chloe. We talked for a good long while. Ther was a cat in the bowling alley, that was the most chill cat ever. It was probably just grown out of its kitten-hood. For a while it stayed with my friend Ariel from Israel, then with me and finally with Chloe. Chloe wanted to take it home. I wanted to take both of them home.

We ended up leaving the bowling alley at about half past one. Chloe stuck around with the other people she was staying with. But, when I woke up this morning and walked down the street looking for breakfast, there was Chloe, all alone in a cafe, hung over, waiting for breakfast. So I joined her. It was nice having breakfast with her. She's just so beautiful. I'm like "ghaaaaaa...." whenever I see her. Much taller than the girls I'm usually into, light brown wavy hair, usually tied up, green eyes and a killer smile. But yeah, she was crazy hung over. Her friends came to join us just as we were both finished. She stuck around for a bit before heading back to the room to try to sleep off some of the hangover. I ended up just hanging out with her friends.

After breakfast, they went to go work on their hangovers, and I headed over to Lao Airlines to buy a flight to Hanoi. Unfortunately, when I got there at ten til noon, there was a sign on their door saying that they were closed from half past eleven until half past one. BASTARDS! So, here I am, blogging.

As you can see from my adventures over the past couple of days, Luang Prabang is a pretty small place. I've found out that it's also a really fun place to meet people and hang out. You wouldn't think that a small river town with a midnight curfew that makes businesses shut down at half past eleven would be very much fun, but it is. I'm having a great time here just relaxing and doing my thing. I've met some fantastic people (all of whom are leaving on Friday, which is why I'm trying to leave on Friday), and I hope I keep in touch with all of them.

Anyhow, I've got a half hour before Lao Airlines opens again. If they're on SE Asia time, it means I have another hour of waiting on top of that. Oh well, it's better than being out in the heat. Speaking of heat, I think I'm going to go try to find a cold beverage.

Day 31: Love/Hate

Listening: And the lovers that you sent for me didn't come with any satisfaction guarantee. So I return them to the sender, and the note attached will read, "How I love to hate you."

What's my problem? Other people's drama.

So I came to Vang Vieng to hang out with Jennifer and Adam. Since I split off from them in Chiang Mai, they acquired a large group of people and now there's big drama in the group and it has affected my relationship with Adam and Jennifer. I just don't feel as welcome and as meshing with them as I once did. Maybe it's the fact that I don't want to drink nearly as much as their crew does.

Anyhow, I think that the main problem is this guy Rob who is 100% full of himself. He's kind of the alpha male of the bunch, but he's a complete prick. All of the men follow suit behind him as if they have no minds of their own. The there are the girls. All of them stick together. So that leaves me somewhere in between. And now I am choosing to extract myself.

I could have stayed an extra night in Vang Vieng, but I'm leaving tomorrow instead to go back to Luang Prabang. I know that there's not too much for me to see and do there, but I figure it might be a nice place to chill out for a few days before I head to Hanoi.

For a second, I contemplated going to Phonesavanh where the Plain of Jars is, but it would cost me three days. It would be one day to get there, one day to see the sites, and then another to get to Luang Prabang. I decided five minutes ago to nix it and just go to Luang Prabang. It might be nice to write some postcards and hang out with Goi and Lucky, as they will be there from the third to the sixth. I'm planning on flying out to Hanoi on the sixth, I think. I have to book my flight when I get to Luang Prabang. I think it's going to cost me a hundred and fifty US dollars.

On the flip side of things, Laos is beautiful. I have never been anywhere this beautiful before in my life. The mountains are stunning, and the landscape is like something out of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. I haven't been able to take many pictures of the landscape though. When I was on the river today, I left my camera in the room. I didn't want it to get wet. And it's hard to take pictures out of the side of a minibus. Maybe I'll try tomorrow.

What screws things up in Vang Vieng are all of the bloody immature backpackers. I have never been to a place so devoted to drunken backpackers. Buckets of booze everywhere, places playing re-runs of Friends and The Family Guy, and cheap bad food fill the streets here. It's so lame. The place could be perfection if you just removed the assholes.

Anyhow, tomorrow I go to Luang Prabang. Tonight I hang out in backpacker-land. Pray for me.

Day 30: Four Solid Days of Travel

Listening: You convince yourself that you want it, but you don't know. You keep trying to wash the blood from your hands, but it won't go. We're gonna keep you on the run.

What's my problem? My body aches.

I'm here at Vang Vieng, finally, after four days of travel. It took a day to get to Chiang Khong, a day down river to get to Pak Beng, then another day to get to Luang Prabang, where I met back up with Jennifer and Adam. Today I caught a minibus down to Vang Vieng.

The trip to Chiang Khong wasn't all that bad. I made friends with a Canadian couple and a couple of chicks from Scotland. When I got there, as I said before, the hotel was shit and I'm never buying a package again.

In the morning, I (along with other people staying at the same shithole) was shuttled to Huay Xai to pick up my passport with a fresh new visa (not as fresh as the Vietnam one though). In Huay Xai, a shitload of us waited around for a few hours for the slow boat. In the mean time, a guy tried to scare us off the boat telling us that the first leg of the trip would take eight or nine hours and that the second leg would take us eleven or twelve hours. We think he was a guy working for the bus company, because all of a sudden, about half of the people who were supposed to go on the slow boat ended up going on a bus instead.

In Pak Beng, I shared a room with a German girl who was a solo traveler as well. We got bait and switched though. At the boat, we were told two hundred baht for the room. When we get to the place, we were told that we could have the room for two hundred baht if we ate dinner, breakfast, and bought lunch to go there. Hellz no. She said otherwise it was three hundred baht for the room. We argued for a long time until we got her down to just breakfast, where I bought the cheapest thing on the menu, which was bread for five thousand kip (about fifty cents). Laos wasn't looking good to start.

On the boat, I met this great group of Germans who I hung out with the entire time. We drank beer and played card games. I learned two new games, and refreshed my German a bit. When we got to Luang Prabang, I met up with them for dinner and drinks. Hopefully, I'll see more of them on the trail.

At my crappy hostel in Luang Prabang, which is another place I won't be returning to, I met up with Jennifer and Adam, who had been on a bit of a bender the night before, and hence were having a quiet night in the hostel. That just left me and the Germans. We hit up Lao Lao Garden, an amazing bar and restaurant where you feel like you're really eating in a bamboo grove. It was truly beautiful. From there, we went to the Hive Bar, where I danced my ass off to everything from MGMT to A Tribe Called Quest to the Basement Jaxx. Drinks were cheap and abundant, but I stuck to beer. There were two for one cocktails that were a mess waiting to happen for some people.

After the bar closed at midnight, the only things open were the discotheque and the bowling alley. I hooked up with some other people I met on the boat to go bowling. I have to say it was kind of crazy. Bowling in Luang Prabang.

And that brings us to today. The minibus ride was perhaps one of the craziest road trips that I have ever been on. It wound its way through fantastically beautiful mountains on bumpy cliffside roads. It was a kind of "take your life in your own hands" kind of experience. But we all got here. We have a crappy guesthouse, but I'm only going to be there for two nights. After that, I head back north and then over to Vietnam. Tomorrow is tubing.

In other news, all of the ATMs in Laos are out of service until at least Monday. I've been operating off of my US dollars, but I think I'll need a new infusion of cash in the next couple of days. There's beauty in developing nations, and then there are convenience annoyances. We'll see how it all works out.

Day 28: I'm NEVER Trusting A Travel Agent Again

Listening: Looking at your watch a third time, waiting in the station for the bus, going to a place that's far, so far, away. And if that's not enough, going where nobody says hello. They don't talk to anybody they don't know.

What's my problem? This hotel blows.

I have a thing about when things are done half-assed. Maybe I get that from my father. But, I can take the ghetto. I like sleeping in open huts with shared bathrooms and mosquito nets with mats on bamboo floors (not refined lacquered bamboo, but split bamboo). I like ghetto food like Harold's fried chicken and four dollar fried rice. I also like the finer things like posh hotels and fine dining restaurants.

What I can't take is the middle ground. Everyone knows that I hate the middle class chain restaurants, places that pretend they have nice food, but you know it's coming out of a cryovaced package of sauce. What I hate about crappy hotels is that they have hot water and an actual bed, but they're not clean. At least in the hut, you know it's gonna be less comfortable and maybe a little bit dirty, but the huts on the trek made this hotel look like a luxury getaway.

The linens weren't clean. There were footprints on the wall. The sink didn't line up with the drain pipe, so everything that went down the sink didn't make it to the drain pipe, but made it to the floor. The food has been less than mediocre, but not good enough to be ghetto. Furthermore, the backpackers staying here don't seem all that friendly. The four people I bonded with on the minibus down all stayed somewhere else. Where? I don't know. They didn't have reservations anywhere, which is what I should have done.

I made a betrayed a cardinal rule of traveling. I trusted a travel agent. For 1800 baht ($54), I got a minibus trip to Chiang Khong, accomodation in Chiang Khong, dinner, breakfast, a lunchbox ferry over the border to get my visa, and a ticket on the slow boat. It sounded good. From the accomodations and the two meals I have had, I can honestly say that I've been bamboozled. It's okay. It'll never happen again. I've learned my lesson.

Anyhow I've got to see what the exchange rate for baht to US dollars is over here. I heard they operate both on the Lao kip and on the US dollar. I'm curious to know what my baht will be worth.

Day 26: I Haven't...

Listening: One chance. One shot. That's all anybody ever got. Newborn, still warm, naked in the rush hour, dancing in my gutter. And if you want to find me, call me. I'll be far from the cars and guitars and everybody.

What's my problem? Part of me just wants to go back down to Koh Tao for my birthday.

I haven't worn socks in three weeks before three days ago. I haven't charged my iPod since I got here until tonight. I haven't figured out how to really use my iPhone knockoff very well. I haven't figured out how to efficiently get around Chiang Mai. I haven't read much of anything besides guidebooks since I got to this continent. I haven't figured out a way to transport a tuk-tuk back to the States for use on Nantucket. I haven't been eaten by a tiger on my jungle trek. I haven't been this sore in a long ass time. I haven't had more than one beer in the past three days (okay... I had a nip of rice whiskey that my crazy guide gave me... not bad). I haven't figured out how I'm getting to Hanoi on March sixth. I haven't figured out if I'll get to Halong Bay by my birthday.

But, yes. I am alive. No tigers have eaten me. Nothing makes a guy feel like more of a fat-ass American than three hours of hiking straight up in ninety degree heat. I had sweat through my shirt within the first hour. I guess what it means is that I should exercise a bit more this summer. It could be good for me. It would eat up time so I'm not out there spending money.

I'll elaborate more on the jungle trek that kicked my ass in a later post, and maybe I'll even get some pictures uploaded before then. But for now, I'm heading over to the Panda Bar to meet up with three of the Brits that were on part of my trek, and tomorrow, I'm heading to Xiang Khong to catch the slow boat to Luang Prabang so I can meet up with Jennifer and Adam in Vang Vieng for some tubing. I've been lazy about getting a move on in Thailand. It's time to start going commando (in the "I'm still wearing underpants" connotation).

Day 23: The Payoff

Listening: I wanna, li-li-li-lick you from yo' head to yo' toes, and I wanna, move from the bed down to the down to the to the flo'. Then I wanna, ahh ahh. You make it so good I don't wanna leave, but I gotta, kn-kn-kn-know what-what's your fan-ta-ta-sy

What's my problem? I'm starting to get Western food cravings.

Let me, for a second describe to you the fantasy that's becoming a reality right in front of me. I'm in an internet cafe in the Central Airport Plaza Mall facing an atrium. In other atriums (ones without internet cafes) there are "Drypers superstar" contests going on where parents bring their kids in to see if they can get their kid into a diaper ad. My atrium is different. My atrium has the Gems and Jewelery School of Technology putting on some kind of show. So, in front of me there are around a hundred girls. Half of them are in university uniforms which involve white tailored shirts with silver buttons and black skirts (very hot), and the other half of the girls are in some sort of runway fashion show, so they're all strutting their stuff on the catwalk. I.LOVE.THIS.COUNTRY.

You know, as much as I would HATE wearing an actual uniform (though I do wear whites....), they make some girls who may look a bit blah hot as hell.

Yesterday, I had a lot of fun. I was up and in town by eight in the morning and off to a cooking class at The Thai Farm Cooking School. I was in a class with nine other people, a couple from Seattle, a couple from Sydney, three girls from Canada, and two girls from (I'm guessing) France who didn't talk too much to anyone else. Our instructor was the tiniest little Thai woman. The great thing about her is that she acted like every single badass chick I have ever cooked the line with. She was very straight forward and cracked a few quick jokes from time to time. If you weren't fast enough, you missed them. I learned how to make green curry, tom yam, pad thai, fried basil with chicken, and sticky rice with mango. It was a lot of fun. I wanted to take my instructor to Nantucket with me so she could cook the line next to me. I'm pretty sure the food would all be put out perfectly and I would be laughing my ass off as well.

Also, in honor of Linh's birthday (happy b-day, Linh!), I got my first Thai massage (sans happy ending, thank you very much). Goi talked to a bunch of people and found one of the best places in town. The woman at the front desk said that one hour wasn't possible, and that I would have to have at least a two hour massage. So I was in it for two whole hours. Oh yeah. It only cost me 200 baht, which turns out to be right around six dollars. Yeah. I can smell the envy of all you readers all of the way over here.

So, this little Thai girl takes me to a chair where she washes my feet and then brings me to a small room and tells me to change clothes. The clothes are a very loose fitting pair of pajama pants and a cheesecloth shirt. From there, she totally works me over. She hits all sorts of pressure points and contorts me in all sorts of ways. There were snaps, crackles, and pops all around. It wasn't really rough though. It was very relaxing. She found all sorts of knots and stuff. In the end, I came out feeling sore, but relaxed. And for two hundred baht, I would do it again in a second.

Anyhow, I have to go REALLY soon. So here's the payoff. Some pics and a couple of videos.


Wat Mahathat in Ayuthaya


One of the few Buddhas with the head still in tact in Wat Mahathat


Hoot and Buddha in the tree... He felt a special connection with this Buddha.


A 40 meter tall Buddha in Ayuthaya


I want a 1/8 size one of these built for me when I die.


Me, Adam & Jennifer at Soi Cowboy on Valentine's Day... Oh yeah, and a stripper and a mama-san.


Really, these guys are too much fun.


Vats of stock & stewed duck


In case you're looking for a comfortaple fit...


The girl in front is the one who interviewed me. Her skirt wouldn't stop staring at me.


Do these exercises every morning.


Traditional northern Thai food


Traditional Thai dance


The Monkey King


Jennifer, Me & Mike at the Khum Khan Toke


Me attempting to do Thai dance


Me and a girl dressed up real cool

Badass crepe maker at Ayuthaya


Part of the Traditional Thai war dance

Day 21: Was It Something I Ate?

Listening: I'm no crazy creep. I've got it coming to me because I'm not satisfied. The hunger keeps on growing. I eat too much. I drink too much. I want too much. Too much.

What's my problem? I'm run down.

It's day 21 and my pace has caught up with me. I'm in Chiang Mai and today, I'm taking a "day off." It's a me day. A personal day, if you will. I'll be writing some post cards, eating fruit, trying to upload pictures (though I doubt it with these slow ass connections), and moving my bags from Goi's father's place to Goi's mother's place.

Yesterday, I spent the whole day feeling like arse. The day before, I spent climbing up a mountain to a temple in Chiang Mai. That night, I had dinner with Goi's father and got aquainted to Northern Thai food. I don't know if it was heat exhaustion or the food, but I woke up in the middle of the night feeling nauseous. It lasted the rest of the night and then until morning. The rest of the day I had a headache and my stomach was neither here nor there. I didn't vomit. I didn't have the shits. I just felt like crap. My friend Jennifer, the nurse from Canada, thinks that it's more heat exhaustion than the food. That makes me happy, but it's been about 36 hours, and I still really don't feel like eating much of anything. I forced myself to eat last night at dinner, and I had a cup of coffee this morning. I think I might get some pineapple a bit later on.

Anyhow, the trip from Bangkok to Chiang Mai was pretty good. Goi and I had the two sleepers closest to the car door, so we would hear it every time someone went in and out. The second class sleepers are a million times better than the sleepers from Amsterdam/Frankfurt to Prague. There was more padding and generally more space. Since I was the top bunk, I had no window. It was a good time to just listen to my iPod and do some reading.

My inner sketchy guy came out during the trip though. I knew he was coming out, but I was helpless to stop him. See, across from me, there was a girl. She reminded me so much of Alice that I couldn't help but looking over there. Goi said I was staring. I seriously couldn't help it. What was it about this crunchy Japanese girl? She knew I was looking at her too, which made me feel even worse. I was a sketchball.

So far, in Chiang Mai, I haven't done too mucyh. I have seen a bunch of temples, eaten some food, but the good portion of the trip comes tomorrow. Tomorrow, I go to cooking class at the Thai Farm Cooking School. I'm going to learn how to make a number of dishes that I will undoubtley be making for staff meal this summer. I'm excited about learning to make red curry, tom yam, fried basil with chicken, and a few other things. The following day, I'll pick up my Vietnam visa from the travel agent, and I'll tool around Chiang Mai some more. Three days from now I'll start my three day/two night jungle trek. It includes elephant riding, white water rafting, bamboo rafting, seeing four hill tribes, a bat cave, some waterfalls and some other stuff that is really just gravy. Luckily, since I'm staying at Goi's mother's place, I'm leaving 90% of my stuff there, bringing only some cash, and the essential clothes and pills.

The day after I finish with the trek, I'll be heading to Laos. Hopefully, I'll be able to meet up with Jennifer and Adam in Vang Vieng to do some tubing before I meet up with Goi in Luang Prabang. I'll probably be taking a minibus from Chiang Mai to Xiang Khong, crossing the border to Huay Xai, then taking the slow boat to Luang Prabang before taking the bus to Vang Vieng.

A couple of places have been cut from my itinerary thus far. I have had to cut out Chiang Rai and Vietiene. It's a bit disappointing, but it's just the nature of the time limits. Also, I'm having a hard time figuring out how to get from Luang Prabang to Hanoi. I don't want to spend the extra day in Luang Prabang to catch the flight, but I also don't wanto to spend two days doing it over land, as I have heard that it sucks. It's kind of a no-win situation. My main concern is to get to Halong Bay or Cat Ba by March 9th. I want to spend my birthday somewhere beautiful. Hopefully, I'll have friends there.

Anyhow, enough of my travel woes. I'll leave you with some outdated pictures.


Goi and I at the full moon party. Note: the bucket.


Is this my type of girl, or what?


Me, Doris & Markus at the Full Moon


Sunrise over the Full Moon