Day 23: The Payoff

Listening: I wanna, li-li-li-lick you from yo' head to yo' toes, and I wanna, move from the bed down to the down to the to the flo'. Then I wanna, ahh ahh. You make it so good I don't wanna leave, but I gotta, kn-kn-kn-know what-what's your fan-ta-ta-sy

What's my problem? I'm starting to get Western food cravings.

Let me, for a second describe to you the fantasy that's becoming a reality right in front of me. I'm in an internet cafe in the Central Airport Plaza Mall facing an atrium. In other atriums (ones without internet cafes) there are "Drypers superstar" contests going on where parents bring their kids in to see if they can get their kid into a diaper ad. My atrium is different. My atrium has the Gems and Jewelery School of Technology putting on some kind of show. So, in front of me there are around a hundred girls. Half of them are in university uniforms which involve white tailored shirts with silver buttons and black skirts (very hot), and the other half of the girls are in some sort of runway fashion show, so they're all strutting their stuff on the catwalk. I.LOVE.THIS.COUNTRY.

You know, as much as I would HATE wearing an actual uniform (though I do wear whites....), they make some girls who may look a bit blah hot as hell.

Yesterday, I had a lot of fun. I was up and in town by eight in the morning and off to a cooking class at The Thai Farm Cooking School. I was in a class with nine other people, a couple from Seattle, a couple from Sydney, three girls from Canada, and two girls from (I'm guessing) France who didn't talk too much to anyone else. Our instructor was the tiniest little Thai woman. The great thing about her is that she acted like every single badass chick I have ever cooked the line with. She was very straight forward and cracked a few quick jokes from time to time. If you weren't fast enough, you missed them. I learned how to make green curry, tom yam, pad thai, fried basil with chicken, and sticky rice with mango. It was a lot of fun. I wanted to take my instructor to Nantucket with me so she could cook the line next to me. I'm pretty sure the food would all be put out perfectly and I would be laughing my ass off as well.

Also, in honor of Linh's birthday (happy b-day, Linh!), I got my first Thai massage (sans happy ending, thank you very much). Goi talked to a bunch of people and found one of the best places in town. The woman at the front desk said that one hour wasn't possible, and that I would have to have at least a two hour massage. So I was in it for two whole hours. Oh yeah. It only cost me 200 baht, which turns out to be right around six dollars. Yeah. I can smell the envy of all you readers all of the way over here.

So, this little Thai girl takes me to a chair where she washes my feet and then brings me to a small room and tells me to change clothes. The clothes are a very loose fitting pair of pajama pants and a cheesecloth shirt. From there, she totally works me over. She hits all sorts of pressure points and contorts me in all sorts of ways. There were snaps, crackles, and pops all around. It wasn't really rough though. It was very relaxing. She found all sorts of knots and stuff. In the end, I came out feeling sore, but relaxed. And for two hundred baht, I would do it again in a second.

Anyhow, I have to go REALLY soon. So here's the payoff. Some pics and a couple of videos.


Wat Mahathat in Ayuthaya


One of the few Buddhas with the head still in tact in Wat Mahathat


Hoot and Buddha in the tree... He felt a special connection with this Buddha.


A 40 meter tall Buddha in Ayuthaya


I want a 1/8 size one of these built for me when I die.


Me, Adam & Jennifer at Soi Cowboy on Valentine's Day... Oh yeah, and a stripper and a mama-san.


Really, these guys are too much fun.


Vats of stock & stewed duck


In case you're looking for a comfortaple fit...


The girl in front is the one who interviewed me. Her skirt wouldn't stop staring at me.


Do these exercises every morning.


Traditional northern Thai food


Traditional Thai dance


The Monkey King


Jennifer, Me & Mike at the Khum Khan Toke


Me attempting to do Thai dance


Me and a girl dressed up real cool

Badass crepe maker at Ayuthaya


Part of the Traditional Thai war dance

Day 21: Was It Something I Ate?

Listening: I'm no crazy creep. I've got it coming to me because I'm not satisfied. The hunger keeps on growing. I eat too much. I drink too much. I want too much. Too much.

What's my problem? I'm run down.

It's day 21 and my pace has caught up with me. I'm in Chiang Mai and today, I'm taking a "day off." It's a me day. A personal day, if you will. I'll be writing some post cards, eating fruit, trying to upload pictures (though I doubt it with these slow ass connections), and moving my bags from Goi's father's place to Goi's mother's place.

Yesterday, I spent the whole day feeling like arse. The day before, I spent climbing up a mountain to a temple in Chiang Mai. That night, I had dinner with Goi's father and got aquainted to Northern Thai food. I don't know if it was heat exhaustion or the food, but I woke up in the middle of the night feeling nauseous. It lasted the rest of the night and then until morning. The rest of the day I had a headache and my stomach was neither here nor there. I didn't vomit. I didn't have the shits. I just felt like crap. My friend Jennifer, the nurse from Canada, thinks that it's more heat exhaustion than the food. That makes me happy, but it's been about 36 hours, and I still really don't feel like eating much of anything. I forced myself to eat last night at dinner, and I had a cup of coffee this morning. I think I might get some pineapple a bit later on.

Anyhow, the trip from Bangkok to Chiang Mai was pretty good. Goi and I had the two sleepers closest to the car door, so we would hear it every time someone went in and out. The second class sleepers are a million times better than the sleepers from Amsterdam/Frankfurt to Prague. There was more padding and generally more space. Since I was the top bunk, I had no window. It was a good time to just listen to my iPod and do some reading.

My inner sketchy guy came out during the trip though. I knew he was coming out, but I was helpless to stop him. See, across from me, there was a girl. She reminded me so much of Alice that I couldn't help but looking over there. Goi said I was staring. I seriously couldn't help it. What was it about this crunchy Japanese girl? She knew I was looking at her too, which made me feel even worse. I was a sketchball.

So far, in Chiang Mai, I haven't done too mucyh. I have seen a bunch of temples, eaten some food, but the good portion of the trip comes tomorrow. Tomorrow, I go to cooking class at the Thai Farm Cooking School. I'm going to learn how to make a number of dishes that I will undoubtley be making for staff meal this summer. I'm excited about learning to make red curry, tom yam, fried basil with chicken, and a few other things. The following day, I'll pick up my Vietnam visa from the travel agent, and I'll tool around Chiang Mai some more. Three days from now I'll start my three day/two night jungle trek. It includes elephant riding, white water rafting, bamboo rafting, seeing four hill tribes, a bat cave, some waterfalls and some other stuff that is really just gravy. Luckily, since I'm staying at Goi's mother's place, I'm leaving 90% of my stuff there, bringing only some cash, and the essential clothes and pills.

The day after I finish with the trek, I'll be heading to Laos. Hopefully, I'll be able to meet up with Jennifer and Adam in Vang Vieng to do some tubing before I meet up with Goi in Luang Prabang. I'll probably be taking a minibus from Chiang Mai to Xiang Khong, crossing the border to Huay Xai, then taking the slow boat to Luang Prabang before taking the bus to Vang Vieng.

A couple of places have been cut from my itinerary thus far. I have had to cut out Chiang Rai and Vietiene. It's a bit disappointing, but it's just the nature of the time limits. Also, I'm having a hard time figuring out how to get from Luang Prabang to Hanoi. I don't want to spend the extra day in Luang Prabang to catch the flight, but I also don't wanto to spend two days doing it over land, as I have heard that it sucks. It's kind of a no-win situation. My main concern is to get to Halong Bay or Cat Ba by March 9th. I want to spend my birthday somewhere beautiful. Hopefully, I'll have friends there.

Anyhow, enough of my travel woes. I'll leave you with some outdated pictures.


Goi and I at the full moon party. Note: the bucket.


Is this my type of girl, or what?


Me, Doris & Markus at the Full Moon


Sunrise over the Full Moon

Day 17: A Few Days In Review

Listening: One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster. The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free. You'll find a god in every golden cloister and if you're lucky then the god's a she. I can feel an angel sliding up to me.

What's my problem? Pics upload soooooo sloooooow.

Well, it's been a few days. The post I put up last night, should have been day 16, but I was a little bit tipsy. Could you tell?

Well, on Tuesday the 10th of February, I went on quite an adventure. See, since Goi and I were in Koh Samui around the time of the full moon, we decided that it would be a shame not to go an see it. I had no desire to stay overnight there, booking a room, but I did want to see the party. Also, two of my friends from Koh Tao, Doris and Marcus, were going to be there.

Being the fantastic hosts that they were, Lucky and Paul arranged for us to borrow a yacht from another resort owner to get to the party which was on the Haad Rin beach on Koh Phangan. On the boat, it was Goi, Lucky and myself, along with Paul, a "companion" of his, another resort owner and a "companion" of his, yet another resort owner and his very nice Vietnamese wife, and his friend from Israel joined by what seemed to be a "companion."

By "companion," I think it's clear what I mean. Now, I'm not Mister Stuffy-Conservative-Man, by any stretch of the imagination. I don't think that prostitution should be illegal. Like drugs, I believe that it should be legal and regulated. I've been to Amsterdam. I've seen the working girls. But the truth of the matter is that I have never seen it in action up close and personal. By this I don't mean that I was watching these older men go at it with these younger Thai ladies. But I was up close watching how these men were acting towards these women. I kind of found some of the interaction to be inappropriate and kind of insulting to the women. So, I found myself conflicted about how I felt about prostitution. It's a very strange place to be on the conservative side of an issue like this.

Anyhow, I was easily the youngest person on the boat. Goi is a little bit older than me and all of the other men on the boat were well over forty years old. The girls, well, I couldn't really tell how old they were. Maybe they were in their late twenties or their early thirties. However, from the way they were acting, and the way they were treated, it was clear that they were working girls. I have to be honest, I felt a little uncomfortable.

When we got to Koh Phangan, we shuttled over to the beach in a dinghy where overload began. Hundreds upon hundreds of people dancing. People drinking out of buckets. Lights. The smooth white sand. It was pretty damn cool. Some places were playing house, while others played trance or drum 'n' bass.

All along the town side of the beach, there were bar stands where you ordered "buckets." Buckets are just that, a bucket of booze. They're about the size of a Big Gulp from Seven-Eleven, and they're filled to the max. There's ice, about a pint of the booze of your choice (I chose vodka), a mixer of your choice (I chose tonic), and a bottle of Red Bull. I have to say that two buckets over the course of the night from ten in the evening until seven in the morning was plenty for me.

The older guys and Goi only stuck around until midnight or so, but I decided that I wanted to stay with my Koh Tao friends and dance the night away. I have to say that it was a blast, and dancing on sand is much lower impact on your joints. Marcus got hit on by a gay guy, and Doris egged him on. I think the best moment was when Doris nonchalantly got Marcus to take off his shirt and the gay guy came up to him and told Marcus that he loved him.

There was debauchery everywhere. People fucking on the beach, people passed out on the beach, people pissing into the ocean (instead of paying ten baht for a proper urinal). It was all there. There were gorgeous girls everywhere and I have to say that I fell in love a few times.

The party kept going all night long. We stopped at around five in the morning to grab a bite to eat, but when we got back to the beach, it was still bumping. As the sun came up at around seven in the morning, people were still dancing. It was a lot like back in my raving days, except instead of coming out of the building and seeing the sun rise, you saw the sun rise as you danced your ass off.

It was nice though. It wasn't quite the party that the hype had made me expect, but it was a good time. I would go back again and maybe do it a little differently, now that I know what's up with the party.

After the party, we went back to Marcus' friend's hostel and chilled out for a while before going for breakfast. Unfortunately, since I ended up staying for breakfast, I missed the eleven o'clock ferry back to Koh Samui. Instead, I had to take the four o'clock, and with the others having other things to do, I was left wandering around Koh Phangan with nothing to do and nowhere to go.

I had a few hours to kill, hadn't slept a wink, and didn't know what to do. I spent a little time in an internet cafe, did a bit of window shopping, and then finally ended up going for a massage. See, I thought that this was quite clever. I had the oil massage, which is less, how shall I say this, hurtful than regular Thai massages. So while this little Thai lady worked away on my muscles, I actually got a good hour of sleep. I thought it was perfect.

By the time the massage was over, it was time to head back to the ferry terminal to check in and be back on my way to Koh Samui.

I got back to the Samui Beverly Hills Resort at around five thirty in the evening. With one hour of sleep under my belt, I was totally knackered. Paul told me that they were planning on going to dinner at around half past six and that Goi would call me on my phone when they were about to go. I said, "Fantastic," and headed into my room for a shower and a fifteen minute nap. Right. Fifteen minutes. Let's just say that when I opened my eyes, it was eleven at night, I had missed Goi's phone call and she was even already asleep after dinner.

The next day was spent traveling from Koh Samui back to Bangkok. It actually takes a good ten hours to make the trip. If you don't have advanced ferry reservations, you end up having to wait for two or three ferries to go by in order to get your car on one. In addition the drive time between Bangkok and the port is about eight hours. I, again, used this opportunity to sleep as Goi and Lucky chatted away in Thai.

When I got to the hostel back on Sukhumvit Soi 1, I checked in and ended up meeting a couple of my roommates. One was from Australia, and wasn't all that talkative, there was a chap from Ireland who was wikkid talkative, and then there was Jennifer, a girl from Canada who had just pulled in that night as well.

I asked if any of them were going to Ayuthaya. No one was, but Jennifer decided to come with me last minute. So, the next morning, we caught a minibus from the Victory Monument, took the hour and a half ride to Ayuthaya and walked around all day.

It was hot and sunny that day. When I say hot and sunny, I mean it's like being in a kitchen with all of the burners on in the height of summer with a hundred order tickets hanging, and so bright that you might rather wear a welder's mask in addition to sunglasses. As Jennifer and I walked around the old capitol, we must have downed at least three liters of water each. There were times that we stopped in shade and didn't want to get up to go on to the next place.

But the city was absolutely beautiful. The ruins of all of the old wats and temples were truly majestic. It was exactly what I thought I would see in Thailand before I had even stepped on the plane. The ruins were so awe inspiring that I can only imagine what the buildings were like before the Burmese came in and burned it all. Many of the Buddha statues were headless, and a lot of the buildings were reduced to pillars.

Also in Ayuthaya, we saw a sitting Buddha in a temple that was about forty meters tall. It was HUGE. I remarked to Jennifer that I thought that Buddha's hand would perfectly cradle my ass if I wanted to sit up on it.

When Jennifer and I got back to the hostel, she wanted a bit of a nap before going out to dinner. I told her that I didn't think that she would wake up for it, but she insisted that she would. At around nine thirty, after the hour of nap that she said that she wanted, she was still out. I went downstairs to Seven-Eleven to get something to drink and use the internet. When I came back up, she was still out and the lights were off. So, I decided not to wake her.

Off I went on my own to grab a bite and to look for a hat. I've been looking for a hat for a little while now. I can't seem to find one to my liking though. I've been to the weekend market, up and down the streets of Sukhumvit and even to shopping centers. I can't find one. That night, I saw one that was okay, but I still didn't buy it. I guess I'm just picky.

When I got to the Asok area of Sukhumvit, I saw the first car crash I have seen in Bangkok. To be honest, it was just a little fender bender, but I was really surprised by the procedure that took place. Both cars stopped and people started yelling at each other. A police officer drove up and started directing people around the cars while another spray painted around the cars. Apparently, no one can leave until insurance assessors arrive and survey the damage. It's totally messed up. Traffic was backed up for a while.

The next day, Jennifer came with me when I met up with Goi and Lucky to go to a floating market. Goi's friend who owns a car wash knew of this market which was well outside of Bangkok. The four of us and two of Goi's friends headed out there to check it out.

We were expecting a bunch of boats on the river selling fruits and other foods, but that wasn't really what it was. Instead, it was a market alongside of the river that had all sorts of fruit and foods. There were so much duck for sale that that I felt like I had arrived at the promised land. Fruits of all sorts, and duck. Mmm. Duck.

After buying an array of fruit, we did decide to take a river cruise where we saw all sorts of cool houses built along the river. They ranged from shacks to old teak houses to new-fangled, fancy-schmancy, tacky mansions.

After we finished at the market, Lucky and Goi dropped Jennifer and I off at the weekend market. It was close to the end of the day, so we only shopped around for a couple of hours. I saw the koi fish tee shirt that I really wanted the last time I was there, but he still wouldn't discount it beyond a hundred and ninety baht. I still passed on it. I did, however, get a blue plaid very light cotton, short sleeved, button down shirt. As a matter of fact I'm wearing it now and it's crazy comfortable. I paid two hundred baht for it. He wanted two hundred and twenty, but I talked him down. I figure if I paid two hundred baht for a button down, I'm not going to pay almost two hundred for a tee shirt.

That night, Jennifer and I ended up going out with this big Irish guy named Adam to Soi Cowboy. It was the night of Valentine's day, and everything there was humming. If you're not familiar with Soi Cowboy, it's a street near our guesthouse that's famous for its strip clubs and it's sex trade. It's one of the three major red light districts in Bangkok.

Now if you've never been to a strip club in Thailand, it's a different experience. They have a number of girls up on stage at the same time dancing. There's actually very little stripping. It's not seductive. It's just naked girls dancing on a stage. Every few songs, there might be a show, like a lesbian show, or a lotion show. It's all pretty funny. Sometimes five girls dressed in the same clothes like cowboys, or nurses will come out and strip over a few songs. It's good, dirty fun.

If you go with a girl, you get even more attention. The girls at the clubs that we went to loved Jennifer. They were all over her. At this one place in Soi Cowboy called Cowboy 2, the girls were really eager to come and hang out with us. At one point, Jennifer got up on stage and danced. At one point, I was invited to go up and dance. And you know I did. Nothing like having two half naked girls grinding on you while up on stage. I don't know if I have any pics of it, but I tried to do some pole tricks. Yeah, I bet I looked like a complete fool, but it was fun as hell.

I have to say that it must have been the most fun that I have ever had on a Valentine's day. Jennifer ended up walking out of Cowboy 2 with a really nice red leather cowboy hat, a rose and a foam heart with wings on it.

After Soi Cowboy, we went to an after hours club called Spicy. The music was bumping and the girls were hot. I ended up flirting with a girl who had really cool glasses for a little bit, until she said, "you want me go home with you?" I thought about it, and decided against it as I'm staying in a hostel, and I don't know where that girl has been.

Anyhow, Jennifer and I stayed out until around three in the morning, and I was pretty zapped by the time I got back to the hostel. Because of all of the partying, we really didn't get started today until after noon. Jennifer, Adam and I ended up going to a meditation class near the Grand Palace. I have to say that it was really nice. I may have to get back to meditation. It was extremely relaxing.

Well, it's eight o'clock and only half of my pictures have uploaded. I have to meet Jennifer and Adam for dinner in a few minutes, so I have to log off. Hopefully tonight, we'll have more fun adventures.

Day 14: I'm okay.

Listening: And the lovers that you sent for me didn't come with any satisfaction guarantee/ So I return them to the sender and the note attached will read, "How I love to hate you."

What's my problem? Drunk.

I'm in Bangkok again. Drunk after hanging out with a Brit guy and a Canuck bird. Was propositioned by a thai chick. I went with a no on that one. Twas fun. Time to feed. I'm okay though, 'rents. Cheers.

Day 12: A Pic Post

Listening: Awake on my airplane, my skin is bare. My skin is theirs. I feel like a newborn.

What's my problem? It takes forever to upload pictures.


Just so you know, this sign was full of shit.


Hoot did find A waterfall.


Durian just kicking around on random trees.


Durian out of it's shell. Not as bad as everyone says, but certainly not something I'm gonna go out of my way to eat more than two bites.


BIG. FUCKING. GRASSHOPPER.


Parrot fish for sale.


Deep fried prawns.


Pork stuffed squid in a spicy broth.


In case you didn't believe me about that whole crazy driving thing...


The Lotus Bar in Koh Tao.


Scott and Doris at the Lotus Bar


My dive team: me, Marcus, Marta, & our instructor Kathy.


Another one of my dive team: Kathy, Marcus, & Marta


A dive resort in Koh Tao


Hoot on a dive boat.


Do you understand how clear the water is?


Do you get why I love it here?


Me, my crazy hair, & the full moon.


And goodnight.

Day 12: As Barney Would Say, "Wet.... SUIT UP!"

Listening: Left my soul there, down by the sea.

What's my problem? I stretched my ear drum.

As I said before, I was in Koh Tao getting my PADI certification. Two mornings ago, I passed my PADI exam and got certified. Not an hour later, I was out on the boat with my friend Doris (who has an Advanced Open Water certification that allows her to go to 30 meters) on our way out to Twins and the Japanese Gardens dive sites again. I have to say, doing fun dives is much more... fun than doing the dives for open water training. You see more and you get to really look around much more.

Our divemaster for those two dives was Paco, a skinny guy from Barcelona who wears a bright blue, custom made wetsuit that has the Rolling Stones lips on the front of it. He brought us to this sandy patch where there was a circle of rocks on the ocean floor. In the middle of these rocks was a bit of coral, no bigger than the size of a basketball, and a family of clown fish. Divers who are in the know find a rock on the ocean floor and add it to the circle surrounding the clown fish. No divers enter the circle, because this family of clown fish are the only ones in the area, and the divers want them to stay. It's kind of a bit of conservation while still having fun and diving.

The next morning, Doris and I decided to go on the morning dives to Chumpon Pinnacle and to Green Rock. Paco told us that is was some of the best diving in Koh Tao. And it was. Even though my group, which consisted of Chris, the divemaster, myself, and two Japanese kids who spoke VERY little English. As Chris was giving the briefing, she noticed that the Japanese folks weren't understanding much. So, together, we broke it down the best we could to them.

Once down to our maximum depth of eighteen meters, we saw all sorts of fish and sea aenemone. I think that the coolest things that we saw were a grouper the size of a tower PC, and a rather large school of baracuda.

On the second dive, though, I went down to twelve meters, tried to equalize my internal pressure, and felt a little pop. After that, my ear drum felt like someone was stabbing it with an ice pick. I signaled to Chris that I was having a problem with my equalization, so we went back up to eight meters. It still wasn't doing much good, until I went back up to five meters. Then, it started to feel better, but was still sore. We tried to go back down, but again, the pain started. From there, we decided to resurface and talk it over. On the surface, it was still sore, so I decided to abort the dive and let them go on without me.

It was sad that my last dive on Koh Tao, this time around (note: I said this time around)had to be aborted, but at least I learned from my training that aborting was the right thing to do.

Back on the boat, it was just me and the crew. I plugging in my iPod and took a nap up on the sundeck. It was brilliant, as Brits would say. I have some nice color in my skin and maybe a touch of sunburn in a few places. I still have the farmer's tan, but it's better than the pale state that I have been in over the past eight or ten years.

I can't stress to anyone enough, that if you go to Koh Tao and want to dive or learn to dive, you should go to Easy Divers. The staff there is amazing. They deal with so many people every day, but they limit the numbers of people with each divemaster or instructor. There's the manager there, Jude, who is a crazy mother fucker. He's a tall, thin, Thai guy who smokes like a chimney (as 90% of the divemasters do), but he remembers every single person's name, where they're from, where they've been, if they've had any problems, everything. He's just a funny, great, good guy.

At three yesterday afternoon, I caught the boat back to Samui. I was greeted by the crew of Goi, Lucky and his partners Chai and Paul. They were already into dinner when I got back. It was the full moon out, so it was really quite nice having dinner on the restaurant's veranda. Normally on the full moon, there is a big party on Koh Phangan, the world famous Full Moon Parties on Hat Rin beach. Since it happened to be a public holiday today, the party has been moved to today. So, tonight, Chai has gotten his friend to take us on his yacht to Koh Phangan, where I'll meet up with my friends from Koh Tao and we'll party the night away.

In other news, I have been thinking about what I'm going to do next winter after I get finished with American Seasons. Since my friend Lianne won't be doing the wedding ceremony in South Africa, I'm free to save my money for something else. Since I have come to Koh Samui and Koh Tao and think that it's just paradise, I might try to come back in different capacities.

I have found out from a number of the dive instructors that a lot of them don't have work visas, and that they're paid under the table. I think that this would mean that other service related jobs may have people who don't have work visas. Maybe I could come to Samui and cook at a resort here. There are a number of western kitchens. I could also do what Jude wants me to do and go for my Advanced Open Water certification and my divemaster certification. If I go for the divemaster, I can take as long as I want to complete it and all of the dives are for free/included in the price of the certification. I could live simply on the island of Koh Tao and dive every day.

Anyhow, I have to go now. It's time to grab lunch. Hope all is well with everyone else. I'm sorry about no pictures. The uploading is slow.

Day 9: Just Not Enough Time & Money

Listening: Stepping through brilliant shades, all the color you bring... This time, this time, this time, is whatever I want it to mean.

What's my problem? I really don't want to leave tomorrow.

So here I am, back at the computer for a little bit, trying to upload some pictures for you guys. All of the internet connections on this rock are as slow as whale shit. It's not a bad thing though. Aside from not being able to upload my pictures at break neck speed, I can blog and check my e-mail with relative ease.

Anyhow, I'm on Koh Tao still. This is supposed to be my last night on the island, and it's killing me.

It took a lot for me to get here. At first, they didn't have any openings for the four day, three night Beginner Open Water PADI certification. So I ended up taking a three day, two night Beginner Open Water PADI certification. They were supposed to pick me up at the Samui Beverly Hills Boutique Resort at seven in the morning, but they never showed. Goi called them up and got the agent on the phone. She said that the van to pick me up broke down, and I would need to get a taxi, which she would pay for, to the pier. I get to the pier, and the agent is nowhere to be found. Eventually, she shows up and drives me another fifteen minutes to another pier, where I catch a ride on a charter speed boat to Koh Tao. There was supposed to be someone at the pier to pick me up, but no one showed up. So, I called the agent again. Eventually, someone showed up, and I went to the dive shop to fill out paperwork, get checked into the bungalow and start my training.

My bungalow is definitely a budget accomodation. There's no hot water, and the toilet is... manual. There's a faucet and a bucket next to the toilet, if you get the picture. The bed is hard as a rock, and there really aren't any linens besides the pillowcases and the fitted sheet. It's unfortunate that I decided to leave my hostel sheet in Samui with Goi and Lucky. Oh yeah. I left the bulk of my gear back on Samui with Goi and Lucky while I just brought my daypack. It's worked out pretty nicely so far.

After dropping my crap, I spent the next hour watching a video and going through the textbook with an instructor. By one in the afternoon that day, I was already in my SCUBA gear and in the water. Fear not, we started off in shallow waters where, even on our knees, our heads were inches below the surface. We did a number of skills training, and then headed back to the boat. After another half hour ride, we went back into the water for an open water dive to practice some of the skills that we learned.

I have to say that learning to SCUBA was a million times easier than I thought it would be. Breathing through the regulator feels more normal than breathing through a snorkle to me. To a few in the class, they felt just the opposite.

Today was, again, classroom stuff in the morning followed by a shallow water dive and a deep water dive.

*had to log off and it's now the next evening*

It was a lot of fun. We went to a the Japanese Gardens dive spot. We saw a seal puffer fish and part o the hard coral field looked like a field of HUGE red leaf lettuce.

Today (the real today now), we finished out our PADI training with two more open water dives. We started out at Southwest Pinnacle, which was gorgeous. There were tons of different soft coral. I saw a bunch of black and white striped sea urchin, and a number of giant sea clams.

This was our deepest dive of our PADI training course. We went down to our certification limit of eighteen meters. Toi be honest, one you get past ten meters the pressure equalization was much easier.

The second dive of the day was at the White Rock dive site. Upon descent, we did a few last skills training and then proceeded to swim around the coral. There were all sorts of wildlife. There were banded sea snakes, cuttlefish and trigger fish. I think I saw a grouper too. Funny thing, the underwater sign language for grouper was to extend your hands as if you're honking someone's tits, because the Aussies pronounce the word grouper to sound like "groper."

After that dive we were supposed to check certification and so on and so forth, but I opted to go out on the afternoon boat with my friend Doris for a couple more dives. The two other people who graduated with me opted to not dive, but I've caught the bug. I went on two more dives today, and I'm going on two more dives tomorrow morning before I catch the three o'clock boat back to Koh Samui.

Anyways, I have to go again. I am 100% certified now and I need some sleep.