Day 6: Flashpacker!

Listening: In my dreams I'm jealous all the time. As I wake I'm going out of my mind, going out of my mind.

What's my problem? So I won't see the west coast of Thailand

I'm soft and weak. I stayed in a hotel in Bangkok for $50 a night for the first four nights of my trip. A flashpacker is the word to discribe such people. As is the word to describe people who fly from place to place instead of taking the land routes of bus. Hell, you may even be considered a flashpacker if you take a nice sleeper train.

Two days ago, I hung out with Cara again, as well as another girl from London, a girl from Norway, and a girl from Australia. All very cool chicks. We were a bit disorganized for most of the day. I spent the first half of the day still exploring the Sukhumvit area of town, as Cara had to do some more admin stuff and wanted to meet me after lunch.

Lunch and dinner were both fiascos. Both meals, someone wanted to sit down at a proper restaurant instead of feasting off of the street, and we paid the price on several accounts. The food was definitely more expensive, definitely lacking in flavor, and the service was definitely sub par. I was disappointed. The food wasn't even worth taking pictures of.

As I have found out that regular sit down restaurants in Bangkok are tough to come by. I'm sure that there are a lot in the more luxurious areas of town or even near Khao San Road, but everywhere else, they're few, far between, and crappy as hell. Suck it up and eat out of a plastic bag. Suck it up and eat at random street vendors.

My general summation of Bangkok is the following. It's a wonderfully depraved, dirty city with a lot to offer for those who have an open mind. The food is wonderful, and the people are nice. If you're made uncomfortable by poverty and dirt, you best not spend too much time there, or spend your time in the higher end neighborhoods such as the area around Siam station. I, personally, loved browsing through the street vendors' stands looking at tees and weaponry. Some may find it droll.

I'll be passing through Bangkok again on the way back from the islands. Goi wants to spend time with her friends, and I want to see the old capitol and the floating market before heading to Chiang Mai. I'll also be flying out of Bangkok on my way out of the mainland, so I plan on taking some cooking courses at that time and buying everything that I wanted to pick up on those first few days in southeast Asia.

Yesterday morning, Goi and her friend, Lucky, who is also from Nantucket via Thailand, picked me up at five in the morning and we made the eight hour car ride down to Surat Thani where we would catch the ferry to Ko Samui.

I was told by Goi, that Lucky owned a resort on Ko Samui. I expected a quaint little place with a few rooms and, maybe, a nice view. I was wrong. His resort is AMAZING. It's reasonably big, maybe fifteen or twenty units. It's beautiful. It's placed on a cliff with some freestanding units and some with units joined together. There's an infinity pool, a huge restaurant, that I can attest to, cooks fantastic, tasty food. It's a dream. It's perhaps one of the nicest places that I have every stayed. It has a view to rival that of the cliffs of Cinque Terre, Italy, the comfort to rival that of Disney World. It's simply amazing.

I think that the most troubling part of all of this is that Lucky isn't letting me pay for anything. I feel a bit bad about it. I was telling Goi, who was equally stunned by the resort, that we have to do something nice for him. I have no idea what to do though. I mean, the guy is at home here. He's at home on Nantucket. I tried to pay for gas. No dice. I tried to pay for dinner. No dice. He did let me pay for the scooter I'm riding around the island on. WOOT!

Speaking of that, I'm riding around on a scooter on the "wrong" side of the road. To put my parents at ease, there are hundreds of scooters on the road and they all pay very good attention to them. I can go as slow as I want to and no one bats and eyelash. They simply pass me on the right. Yes, mom. I'm wearing a helmet. Yes, mom. I'm watching where I'm going and paying attention to traffic.

Tomorrow, Lucky's partner has arranged for me to go on a scuba diving package to get my PADI certification. PADI is a world recognized certification course for scuba divers. I will be approved to dive up to 18 meters, I think. It is a life long certification, and I can take it anywhere I want to dive. It's a four day, three night course over in Ko Tao. I'm super psyched. I had a number of things on my "courses to take while in Asia" list, and this was, most definitely number two on the list. It is second to cooking courses, of course.

I am so excited. Life is good. Anyhow, here's some more pics for you.


Pig face in Thailand


The scooter Linh should get


Best public toilet of 2006


Sticky rice cooked in bamboo


Forget "no dogs..." "NO DURIAN!"


The view from Lucky's resort's restaurant at night


Hoot, pimpin' as always


The pool


The units


A flower


A food


A fruit

Day 3: Wat's Going On?

Listening: It's a perfect day for doing the unstuck, for dancing like you can't hear the beat and you don't give a further thought to things like feet. Let's get happy!

What's my problem? Wats, my problem.

Day three was kind of crazy. I woke up crazy early after my friend Goi finally called me up to let me know what was happening. On the other end of things, my friend Cara woke up late and had to do some admin stuff for the rest of her trip, so we ended up not hanging out all day. By the time I finished my blogging and such, it was noon. I ended walking around the Nana area for a while, just getting lost.

By the time I figured out that I should have some direction, it was two o'clock. I decided to hit up the path that I had planned on going on the night before. Get on the skytrain. Transfer at Siam. Take it to the end of the line at Saphan Taksin, and catch a boat upriver to the Khao San area, where there are a lot of monuments and wats. A wat is a Buddhist temple/monastery.

After I got off the skytrain, there was Wat Yannawa. It has several temples inside of it. In addition, it has this big temple in the shape of a Junk boat. It was my first wat, and not being a practicing, devout Buddhist, I had no clue what to do. There are candles, incense, little sheets of gold leaf, cups of sticks. I had no clue what to do, so I just played follow the leader. Apparently there was some sort of school production going on in the middle of the wat. I had no clue whether I should have been there or not. When I got to the wat, I think that I was the only foreigner there. Luckily, later on, there were others who showed up.

In one of the more major parts of the wat was a giant room filled with Buddhist relics. They're pretty much the same as Christian relics, but they believe that after the body of a Buddha is cremated, parts of his body are scattered throughout the globe and manifest itself in rocks and things. I watched the believers put up their hands to these rocks, or gravel or orbs as if they were warming their hands to a fire. It was an interesting thing to watch.

What's tough it knowing what I should be doing. I don't feel that I should be taking pictures, not only because of the signs posted, but because of the intrusion. But, in a way, I want to. I don't know if I should be doing the same things or if I should just let them do their thing. I don't know the rituals, and I'm not a believer. What should I do? I just try to fade into the background.

After seeing the relics, I sat down at a cart and had some noodles with some pork which is a lot like Chinese BBQ pork. The ladies (think lunchlady, not girl grabbing my cock) around the cart who were either cooking or eating talked with me the best they could. We actually had a very good conversation about where I was from, what I did for work, what I should be putting in my dish, etc. After I slurped down the noodles, the cook asked if I wanted more. I pointed to another lady's dish and said I wanted what she was having. It looked like it was more fried noodles than just boiled. Hers also had a dark sauce to it, which, for some reason, I didn't get. It was all delicious. They were amazed by how I liked my food spicy.

From there, it was a bit of a fiasco getting on the river bus. First, I ended up just crossing the river. Not what I wanted to do. Then I got on an express boat that didn't stop everywhere, so I had to transfer boats. Finally, I got back on the right side of the river, and proceeded to get lost. It doesn't help that there are so many wats around, and not all of them are on the map. I went into one that had nothing written in English anywhere. As a matter of fact, finding English anywhere is a challenge unless you're in the most touristy of tourist areas. But I got lost and ended up finding myself near the Grand Palace and Wat Po. Unfortunately, Wat Po was closed for the day, so I didn't get to go in and see the giant reclining Buddha. I figure I'll do that today when Cara calls me up.

As far as the Khao San Road area, I'm pretty happy I'm not staying there. It's a lot of westerners. In fact, there are so many westerners there that they outnumber the Asians. It's kind of messed up. Though some of the restaurants and bars look really nice (nice being comfortable and fun, not bougie), it's all westerners paging through their Lonely Planets.

Speaking of brand names, the consumerism here is out of control. Everywhere you look, there are streets lined with stands selling anything from food to tee shirts to boxer shorts to weaponry. That's right, I said weaponry. There are all sorts of really awesome knives and things like brass knuckles. I'm tempted to buy an automatic switchblade that's labeled as Nato surplus and a butterfly knife with an index finger hole. And to be honest, brass knucks would be cool to have too. I'm sure I'll end up buying some tee shirts and some boxing shorts eventually, once I get my consumerism on.

Anyhow, I got back to my room at around seven in the evening and I was zonked. I texted Cara to see if she wanted to grab dinner, but I fell asleep before she got back to me. By the time I woke up, it was half past ten, and I decided to just stay in and sleep for the night. The heat and the humidity had gotten to me. It was good though. I needed to do a little laundry (which still hasn't dried overnight), and get a bit of rest.

So, today, I'm hanging out with Cara, who just texted me, and tomorrow morning at five in the morning, I will be going with Goi and her friend down south to the islands. Hopefully I'll be able to get my scuba on. And yet again, I will leave you with some images.


The protest that my friends and I found ourselves in the middle of


One end of Khao San Road


Beer is Fucking Good!


The Democracy Monument


Hello Kitty bus for Linh


Wat Yannawa


Mmmm... noodles.


Cruising down the river


Like the MBTA, but different

Day 2: I Will NOT Pay 190 Baht For a Tee

Listening: Everybody come and play. Throw every last care away. Let's go to the mall... Today.

What's my problem? I'm a cheap mofugga

Yesterday, I met up with my friend Cara at her hostel around noon, and we, along with a kid from upstate New York named Dan, went to the weekend market near Mo Chit. Umm... holy shit. Umm... really... holy shit. The place was huge. The place was packed. There was crap for miles and miles (figuratively). The large majority of the stands sold crap such as tee shirts, bags, belts, military surplus, bug zappers and so on and so forth. There were restaurant stalls and bar stalls, along with a variety of snack stalls ranging from fresh fruit (including jackfruit, rambutan, fresh tamarind, mangosteen, along with run of the mill strawberries, pineapple, mango, papaya and the such) to grilled sausages, stuff that looked like Chinese roast pork and char siu (Chinese BBQ pork), and deep fried wonderfulness.

Cara was a champ. She walked out of that market with a couple of dresses and a bag. Dan and I walked out with nothing. I almost bought a white v-neck tee shirt with a black and white koi fish coming over the shoulder, but the dude wanted 190 baht (just shy of $6) for it. He wouldn't budge, so I smiled and walked away. I needed the 190 baht more than I needed a tee shirt. It was a cool tee though. I'm still on the lookout for it.

For lunch at the weekend market, we sat at a restaurant stall that was heavily populated by Thai folk. It was funny. We saw the place within the first five minutes of getting to the weekend market, and I remarked, "That place is full, and not full of westerners. It might be a good place to have lunch." We walked around for a couple of hours and ended up back there to nosh. The food was fantastic. We had deep fried chicken hip, spicy pork liver salad, spicy bamboo shoot salad, sticky rice and some rice noodles. To top it all off, we beat the heat with a few frosty Shinghas. Everything was delicious. I'm still expecting for food to be spicier than it has been, but it has all been really good. It completely changes my mind about Thai food. The Thai food in Boston can kiss my travlin' ass.

The thing that I was most intrigued about in the weekend market were the popsicle sellers. It was so simple but really quite ingenius. They had a metal cylinder, about the size of a large bamboo steamer that had another metal piece holding metal tubes, much like test tubes suspended in it. They would fill the test tubes with fruit flavored liquids, fill the drum part with ice, water and rock salt and would spin the piece holding the test tubes so that the icy water beneath them would freeze the contents of the tubes. It was fantastic. I want one of them... badly. I would hang out in Harvard Square and sell popsicles.

It pained me to look at some of the stalls and know that I couldn't eat or drink what they were offering. It was clear that they were using local water and ice to make frosty concoctions. They all looked really yummy. At one of the bar stands, a group of teens were drinking alcoholic slushies. I know I can get that stuff in the states, but could I really get it in the flavor of rambutan or red tea?

After the weekend market, we headed over to the Siam area to pick up a phone for Cara. She didn't have her phone unlocked and needed one. I expected us to see some for sale at the weekend market, but no dice. The mall that we went to was really upscale. She bought a cheap little Nokia, and I lusted after a Samsung. I may go back and get it before I leave southeast Asia. It was seeeeeexy.

Dan was really only in town for the day, as he would be going to teach English in Nong Kai. So he bounced out of town at Five o'clock. For dinner, Cara and I, along with two other people, Ed and Stacy, went to Khao San Road for some dinner. It took us forever to get there because our cabbie thought that we said some other San Road, which was on the other end of town. There was a huge demonstration in one of the parks protesting the government, so seas of red shirt clad people were clogging the streets. When we finally got there, the major topic of discussion was the question of "Is our server a chick or... a dude...."

It was a weird night for me. I was already sleepy by the time we headed out for dinner around eight. The sleepiness was compounded by the two Singhas I had with dinner, so by the time we got back to the Sukhumvit area, I was zonked. They went to the "pink bus to get a drink, while I went to find the pisser. By the time I got back, ten minutes later, the "pink bus" was closing up and they were sans drink. It was half past one by that time, so I figured it was time to go home.

Anyways, it's getting late in the day. I should be getting on to meet Cara. I'll leave you with some pics though.


First meal in Asia... in the Hong Kong airport


Meet Hoot. Here's the two of us in the relax lounge in Hong Kong's airport.


They had a Muji To Go in Hong Kong's airport. It took all of my strength not to start shopping.


Hoot big pimpin' in Bangkok


A woman selling fresh jackfruit


Grilled prawns


Spicy stir fried Thai watercress, spicy stir fried wild boar & sticky rice


Halfway through lunch


Popsicle machine


Fresh tamarind


Dan and Cara

Day 2: Been Here 12 Hours And Someone Has Already Touched My Package

Listening: One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster. The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free

What's my problem? People are touching my penis.

Well, I made it to Bangkok. My luggage arrived about six hours after I did and was sent to the hotel.

I met a great friend on the plane. Her name is Cara and she's from the UK. I'm going to meet her for lunch right now.

I'm also waiting formy friend Goi to call me. I tried to call her, but her phone number wasn't in service. Thank goodness we both e-mail.

In the entertaining point of the first twelve hours, my crotch was grabbed as I walked down the sidewalk last night. This has only happened once in my life before and that was by a gypsy prostitute in Prague. It's a totally fuct feeling when someone you don't know is grabbing your unit. I can now totally see why girls don't like random guys grabbing their asses. Well, I could see that before. I just never experienced it first hand.

Also, I was told yesterday that Citizens Bank sold me reallyn old 1000 baht notes that no one will accept. I'm going to have to go to the bank today and get them changed. Not happy about that, but, hey, it's an adventure.

By the way, Bankok is a very dirty, smelly, congested city, but it has kick ass street food. Last night, Cara and I split some spicy wild boar, spicy thai watercress, and roasted prawns. These prawns were the best shell fish I have ever had in my entire life. So simple. It was literally just grilled over charcoal, so it got that nice carbon flavor, and was served with limes to juice over them and some chili sauce. It was heaven at a tin table with plastic, dollar store chairs. If you can stand the dirtiness, you need to be here.

Day 1: A Difference of Culture

Listening: I'm what I feel and what I'm feeling is surreal. I'm a massive spinnin' wheel, always digging in my heels. Now I got the faith to fall back again.

What's my problem? Native Asians have no concept of space.

Well, after two cancelled flights, six hours to Los Angeles and fourteen hours to Hong Kong, I'm nearly done with the first half of my air travel. I have about seven hours until my flight to Bangkok, a thousand Hong Kong dollars that I pulled from the ATM a few minutes ago, an empty belly, a achy body, and a sleepy head. Man I can't wait until I hit my hotel.

I do have an option, as I learned from my Hong Kong guide book. There is a lounge where I can pay 450HKD ($58) for a nap room, a shower, a massage, andI think internet. I'm gonna have to check it out.

Sleeping on my LAX to HKG leg was nearly impossible. The flight was 100% full, and in my little row of three, I was on the aisle. There was a tall moronic, impatient Nepali man in the middle. And, finally, there was the middle aged Chinese man who had to go to the bathroom a million times. To make it worse, he never asked us to move, he opted to try to climb over everyone. He also talked loudly to his wife who sat in the seat behind him.

For now, I have to decide what kind of airport food I'm going to partake in. I figure I should get something Chinese. There is, however, a caviar bar here. How peculiar.

But yeah, I'm still alive and in one piece. I am in desperate need of a food, shower, massage and nap. The question is whether the shower, massage, and nap can wait.

Already missing a bunch of you.

T-5 Hours and Counting: What's In My Pack?

Listening: Take my hand. I'm a stranger in paradise, all lost in a wonderland, a stranger in paradise.

What's my problem? I NEED to blog!

Okay, with just a few hours before I go to the airport, I'm going to post for y'all what I'm bringing with me to Asia.


EMS Long Trail II Backpack, DaKine Element Daypack, EMS Backpack Duffle, Pacsafe, Harmony Drybag, Cocoon Coolmax Travel Sheet, Eagle Creek Silk Moneybelt


2 Space Saver Bags, 1 Eagle Creek Double Cube, 2 Eagle Creek Packing Cubes, 1 Eagle Creek Half Cube, 1 Eagle Creek Quarter Cube, 1 Eagle Creek Tube, Laundry Bag


All clothes detergent, 2 packets Woolite, 8 Shout wipes, Travel clothesline, sink stopper, card case with business cards, scissors, nail clippers, eyeglass repair kit, sewing kit, zip ties, extra shoe laces, money belt, spare glasses, sunglasses, chain wallet, money clip/card case, emergency docs, duct tape, glow stick, mini Sharpie, Swiss Army knife


2 bottles hand sanitizer, 4 packs Gatorade powder, 8 Airborne singles, Annu Hudration tabs, Crest Prohealth Toothpaste, Crest travel Toothpaste, Sea to Summit soap sheets, Q-Tips, 3 vials Po Chai Yuen Pills, 2 Charmin to Go, medical tape, Ultrathon 34% Deet insect repellent, shave gel, Neutrogenia rapid clear face wash, Aveeno face sunblock, Neutrogena sunblock with helioplex, Neosporin, cortisone, Advil, Gold Bond medicated powder, 2 diarrhea meds, malaria meds, toothbrush, razor, band aids, Benadryl, Claratin, Pepcid AC, burn gel, hair product, condoms


Canon SD890IS with spare battery, charger, & 3 SD cards, G-Shock watch, travel alarm, pedometer, cell phone case, airline headphone adapter, 160GB iPod Classic with USB charger, SD Card reader, Black Diamond Gizmo headlamp, Samsung t-329 phone with charger (unlocked), Samsung T309 with charger (to be unlocked), Samsonite plug adapter, votlage converter, Shure earbud headphones


Airline reservations, hotel reservations, travel insurance policy, copies of IDs and cards, Vietnamese food cheat sheet made by Linh, international certification of vaccination, passport pictures for visas, glasses prescription, Thai bank notes, passport, The Art of Happiness, Ultimate Experiences in Southeast Asia, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos & the Greater Mekong, Southeast Asia on a Shoestring, Fodor's Hong Kong Macau, & South China Cities, Chefwear catalogue (to show custom tailors), journal, pocket pad


3 pairs EMS convert pants, 1 pair Quiksilver pants, 1 pair Oakley shorts, 1 pair board shorts, 1 pair doctor's scrubs, Adidas Climacool muscle shirt, Mammut short sleeved button down shirt, Kenneth Cole nylon polo, short sleeved polyester button down shirt, quarter zip long sleeved Adidas Climacool shirt, Regatta Sport Coolmax tee, Banana Republic polo, Hot Chili's long sleeved base layer, 5 pair Techwick boxers, 4 pairs Coolmax socks, 1 pair Smartwool socks, 1 pair EMS medium weight light hiking socks


North Face Summit Series jacket, EMS lightweight fleece vest


1 pair Keen Briggs shoes, 1 pair Keen Newport H2 Sandals, 1 pair Quiksilver flip flops

Well, that's my packing list. For as long as it is, it all fits rather effortlessly into my packs. It's all surprisingly lighter than the pack I took with me to Europe.

To be honest, I should have left Boston about four hours ago, but I got a call at two in the morning saying that my flight had been canceled. I immediately rebooked and am now taking a flight out of Boston at a quarter to five, arriving in Los Angeles at ten past eight. I then have a four hour layover, in what I figured out is the same terminal in LAX. Hopefully I won't get delayed by this awful snow. Thankfully, I'm not worried too much because I have travel insurance.

Anyhow, this is my last blog from Boston for the next three months or so. I may try to blog from LAX or Hong Kong, but you never know. For those of you who want to know as much of my itinerary as I know, you can either check my Google Calendar, or, well, I'll just write it out for you.

AA Flight 145 BOS-->LAX Dep. 16:45 1/28, Arr. 20:10
Cathay Pacific Flight CX881 LAX-->HKG Dep. 00:05 1/29 Arr. 07:30 1/30
Cathay Pacific Flight CX751 HKG-->BKK Dep. 14:25 1/30 Arr. 16:20
Cathay Pacific Flight CX750 BKK-->HKG Dep. 11:30 4/1 Arr. 15:20
Cathay Pacific Flight CX882 HKG-->LAX Dep. 16:15 4/9 Arr. 14:15
AA Flight 264 LAX-->BOS Dep. 12:50 4/21, Arr. 21:20

And that's all of my flights.

Well, I hope to see you all when I get back, or hear from you while I'm out on the trail. Cheers.

T-4: An Adventure on the Horizon

Listening: I remember me, and all the little things that make up a memory. Like she said, she loved to watch me sleep. Like she said, "It's the breathing. It's the breathing in and out and in and... Have you seen me lately?"

What's my problem? Nerves... and a cold.

When I was a child, I said that I never wanted to be a person with a job that required me to be behind a desk. I saw my father going in on weekends to do work in an empty office as I sat and played with model airplanes listening to the dot matrix printer hum and buzz. I saw the stacks of paper on his desk and I knew that I didn't want that for me. I saw all he was doing as intangibility.

It's not that I think or thought that his job and his profession is unimportant or unrewarding. It very much is/could be. I just know it is not for me.

When I was a child, I wanted to be a marine biologist, an astronaut, a writer, a DJ, and an advertising creative director. And then I woke up in the morning sometime in 2001 and found myself to be a corporate accountant. I found myself surrounded by stacks of paper, waiting for sheets of it to be spit out of laser printers. I found myself wearing khakis and being very unhappy.

Three years later, after some unfortunate events in the office and some other people's knives plunged firmly into my back, I turned to working in kitchens. For two years, I worked both jobs. And then I switched over to being a full time fine dining cook.

I no longer want to be a marine biologist, an astronaut, a DJ, an advertising creative director (sometimes I still want to be a writer, which is why this place exists). I am no longer wearing khakis or find myself surrounded by stacks of paper, waiting for more paper to be spit out of laser printers. I am a cook. I am a cook with a stretch of time to use as I please and the money saved to do such.

I am a free man.

When I was a child, my parents found out through what teachers told them that I was a child that needed structure to thrive. I have found that it's kind of true. I have found that I work much better with structure than with the free will to do as I please. I sometimes say to myself, "Holy fuck! What am I supposed to do?" The problem with that question is that it implies a specific destiny and goal. It implies a status quo that I should be aiming for. The word "supposed" I feel like means that it's what everyone else wants from me and what I should want for myself.

But I am a free man.

I want to see the world. I want to taste the tastes of other cultures. I want to see. I don't just want to do for the sake of a future or for the sake of the ending. I want to have constant moments of enlightenment, not just the nirvana at the end.

It's tough though. It's tough to not just focus on the end goal. It's tough to live in the now, but still keep yourself safe for the next two steps.

I always had a theory that most people are brought up thinking that either the next step will be the best, or that a time in their past is the best time in their lives. Just like kids in kindergarten think that the first graders are so cool because they get to have a whole day of school, and first graders look up to the sixth graders because they are almost out of grammar school. Sixth graders look up to seventh graders because they get to go to school dances and go to a new school, while the seventh graders look up to the eighth graders, because they're top dogs of junior high. The cycle goes on and on until you're an adult making your living, and even then, you're compelled to look forward to retirement. Most people have such strange lives filled with consistent want and envy.

What I want is for right now to be great, and I'm doing everything I can to insure that.

I'm on the edge of starting an incredible journey. Five countries in two and a half months. The flights are booked. I have no hotel booked as of yet, but I will have the first four nights booked before I leave. After that, my life is moment to moment. My life is what I feel right now. My life isn't about what happens when I get back to the States. It's not about how I want my career to go. It's not about opening up my own restaurant someday. It's not about buying a car, house, or anything. It's certainly not about retirement. It's about what am I seeing in front of me. It's about right now.

It's both exciting and nerve racking to not know what's around the bend. It's tough not knowing what's going to be happening in a week.

What I do know is that I'll see things that most Americans only dream of or think of as alien. I know that I'm not going to be one of those freedom fries Americans who is trapped in the bubble of American culture, thinking that our culture is the best and only way to be. I am one of those Americans who loves the possibilities of his own culture, but acknowledges that there are other ways of life that aren't better or worse, just different. I'll be seeing those differences and living those differences first hand. Maybe I'll incorporate some of the differences into my own, personal culture.

I know that all of this sounds preachy. It sounds selfish and ego-maniacal. But it is my life. Why shouldn't everyone be selfish about their own life? I don't pretend to tell people how to live their life. All I can do is tell people how I feel my life should be led, or how I would deal with things if I were in someone else's position.

But anyways, the bottom line is that all of this uncertainty is very scary. Life is very scary. But, really... would I really want it any other way? The stakes are what makes something valuable. I could have a very safe, secure life, but what would it be worth? It would have monetary value, that's for sure. I would have a net worth at least into six figures. With the way I'm living now, each day, to quote the cliche, is priceless. And as scared and nervous as I am, I wouldn't have it any other way.